well ive been meaning to write an ‘improved’ update for some time and just not quite up to it yet.. juts want to say that i had a sort of encouraging visit with my gp today…
i havent seen her in the whole time since this becuase i was embarassed what i did to myself, and i was afraid she would disbelieve me.
shes really always been very nice and i told her that, first thing when i saw her.. that i was both embarassed, and afraid… she was very, sympathetic. i showed her the pictures of what happened to me and she was just very sympathetic. she didnt doubt what i said, and i told her straight out that many drs wont believe us and how painful that can be. she was again, very sympathetic. she said, ‘doctors dont always know’ and that it wasnt unreasonable to try botox for headaches, i had done reserach, it wasnt my fault that it went bad, she said i shouldnt feel bad about it at all.. she said it was a totaly reasonable thing to try and i shouldnt feel dumb in the least at all and that she felt that my drs should have been more ‘honest’ with me. she said drs are not always honest for many reasons, but she thinks beign honest is better, and i told her, yes i wish they had been honest with me it would have made this much much easier. she just said, ‘drs dont always know, and you have to be open to what patients tell you’.
she allowed me to have some tests for liver function and kidney function and thyroid and a few other things.. (i may try to ask for some more if i can think of which ones) and i asked her about muscle relaxants that are -not- benzos. (My chemist bf had been researching drugs for another purpose and told me to ask about other muscle relaxants.. these are often used for muscle spasms and nerve issues.. i think someone else here mentioned being on flexeril and this was the one she suggested so i wil try that first.)
i have to say that at 3.5 years, many of my original issues have not really appreared during the last year. i have almost no joint pain anymore and i blieve this is directly due to the anti-inflammatory diet/cleanse i have been on.. (since exposure to certain foods/chemicals etc always increased the joint pain) joint pain is almost nonexistent now. muslce pain is much much less, i still have the muscle and nerve problems in my face, and very mildly in the neck and back.. this is what i was hoping the non-benzo muscle relaxers would help, they are specifically for muscle spasms and nerve pain.
so the other thing to know here, is that there -are- non-benzodiazepene meds specifically for muscle spasms.. and nerve pain.. theres a small handful of these meds, one is flexeril, there is baclofen, one called soma, and a few others.
soem are more mild than others i think flexeril is a mild one. i confess i have been trying baclofen as my bf had some and let me try it, and i really love it. i may ask my dr for it directly if the flexeril does not work. also, the benefit of baclofen is i have completly stopped the ativan, and im really happy about that.
it is better than the benzos for my issues now i think and im happy to be able to discontinue them if possible. also, baclofen is used specifically (of label) to stop cravings for alcohol -and- benzos.. so if you are on benzos and want to stop, you can try baclofen it will allow you to stop the benzos..
ok well, just wanted to say, at 3.5 years, the only real remaining issues that bother me are nerve pain in the face.. which is still the worst part of the problems… persistent but not overwhelming neck and lower back.. -very- occasional weakness.. extremely rare joint pain (usualy related to exposuer ot something). my hair is thick and healthy, my skin is healthy, i can eat most things, i can handle exposure to normal chemicals, i dont have to be afraid of every little thing that happens (though i often still am) and i have not had secondary symptoms arise during the past year. my eyesight is stil very bad, but as i said, the worst area continues to be the actual injected muscles including my eyes :<< puffiness is gone, bags under the eyes gone, dry eyes, gone. hollowness in the face, -much- bettter.
i will stick with my anti inflammatory cleanse for a second year (more about that later) as i feel it has reeeeeally helped the joint issues and all other issues in my body. i feel a lot of the problems are residual inflammation, i think some flares are due to inflammation from different causes. (there are many causes of flares though of course) and i feel as though im on the tail end of this now.
very interested to see if these non-benzo muscle relaxers help with the last of hte issues, the spasm in my facial muscles, and nerve issues in neck and back.
i feel stronger than ive been and its been a good year of pretty solid upswing.
so keep the faith everyone…….. keep the faith, eat clean, and do what you have to to hang in there…. and help your body restabilize… i feel i am on the upswing now….
edit: haha and i completely forgot to add this to ‘improved update’ i have to figure out how to do that!! sorry guys!!!