All posts by veryugly

About veryugly

Mother of one, Azzalure injection in july 2014, distroyed my life..

Body under constant attack..

Hello  everyone,

Not long ago my adrenals were fine still and since last months I start having more weakness, breathing , circulation more issues, head exploding inside and the back of head, veins swelling especially in the afternoon and by eveining I barely stand on my legs with swollen belly, legs, hands , generally very ill and weak. In the morning I wake up with overactive nervous system , stiffness and after 15-20 mins I get weaker and weaker.  Head ache is worse than ever including my eyes.

I also get very emotional and down, I wanna cry for no reason.

About 2 months ago I had blood tests done by immunologist including cortisol  which showed very low level ,  my dr decided to do Short Synacthen test for me and it showed that my adrenal cortex doesnt produce cortisol enough which means that might be another autoimmune reaction. In the last 2 years I have been diagnosed with ANTI TPO ( started with 300 and by now is >1300 , )  IA2 – antibodies ( double high) and now possibly Addison’s disease..

I can feel my body deteriorate and  it’s just too damn much for one person to handle it all like surviving bad Botulism was not enough..

My immunologist seems to be very caring and as the only one tries to help and doesn’t deny it is all from poisoning , he actually says IT IS from poisoning but he can’t  kick this toxin out of my system anyhow. He decided to give me short course of Prednisone for about 4 weeks to see if I will have any improvement , I was trying to avoid it for long but I guess this is my only option right now since it gets so much worse.

Could you please let me know if any of you been diagnosed with autoimmune diseases or reactions after this evil poison?  Adrenal  insufficiency maybe? I’m so afraid to take prednisone but I guess I have no choice anymore, if somone is on steroids ( I’m sorry I can’t remember who was) could you please let me know if it helps or cause any more trouble..

It’s very hard  to stay positive now and keep thinking  that time is my friend..






Pain too strong to handle

hello everyone

I am now 2,5 years out and I still struggle with symptoms daily, my weakness is on and off every few days,. My cardiovascular symptoms are worse and on top of all I suffer daily with  pain in my whole body, joints ( even fingers) muscles, head, neck, organs ( stomach , kidneys, heart , liver..) the pain is the worst in the morning but today stays all  day making me cry – it’s  hard to handle. I also have blood vessels hardening. In the morning they feel like squeezing  and its very painful too, It gives me also morning head aches and preassure in my head, feels like its going to explode then everything gets very stiff.  I knew second year pain start to kick in – neurologist warned me about it but I did not expect it to be so bad and in my whole body. I was avoiding any medications they gave me for pain as long as it was possible but at the moment I don’t know if I can live like this.

Did anyone have such a bad pain and found anything helpful ? If my only option are drugs that doctors prescribe is anything I should be more careful about? Will this pain ever go away? I feel like my all bones and joints being crushed and yet my kidneys and other organs feel the same, cant  imagine my life suffering like this 😢

Chest burning and horrible relapse

Hello everyone,

I am now 27 months out and I did have some times of little or a bit bigger  improvements which did not last long but I was still very grateful to have any.  Unfortunately my nerves don’t regenerate well and mostly autonomic.  I suffer daily from heart symptoms, circulation issues, skin burning, cramps, vission loss, ringing ears or feeling blocked, nausea,  muscles tightness, muscles aches,weakness,  blood vessels pain in legs and arms , hair loss, I am very cold and dizzy, the list goes on.

Today I am very scared because again it has hit me very hard, I’m extremaly weak, have burning all over body, my legs turned blue, can’t keep myself up, I’m completely bed bound since yesterday, but what scares me the most is the burning in my chest, pain in the chest, white stiff hands and feet and the feeling to collapse. My breathing is very shallow and I can’t swallow properly due to weakness.

I feel like having some flu or chest infection, but my temperature is  very low. I don’t know if this is another bad relapse or If I have catched something but It has not been so difficult with my blood circulation and breathing since last time I have been taken to the hospital till now. I am afraid  to go here in UK  to A&E  because Im afraid of any medications they could give me but I will have to if my circulation and breathing wont  get any better 😔

I am trying warm bath with salts, magnesium but It is more helpful when I’m having stiffness, I take Vit C and will start echinecea drops, I have no idea how to fight infection now  if that’s what causing the relapse but I’m desperate to help my  chest  burning and breathing without any steroids or antibiotics , please if anyone have some advice that might  help I would be so much thankful. I am more afraid  to go to the hospital feeling so bad because I have completely lost my trust to these people..

Sending all healing thoughts


Delayed Antitoxin Treatment of Two Adult Patients with Botulism after Cosmetic Injection of Botulinum Type A Toxin

Hi everyone,

There is article from Hong Kong hospital about 2 botulism cases from injections, they recieved high doses of botox and developed botulism 3 days later, they  went to the  hospital late but antitoxin  was still administered 7 and 9 days later.

They wrote ” In an outbreak of foodborn botulism toxin was detectable in the blood of a patient 25 days after symptom onset. However, simply neutralizing the circulating toxin is unlikely to have clinical improvement if there is saturation of the neuromuscular junction toxin receptors. In these two patients, therefore, the arrest of symptom progression after antitoxin treatment might be because their neuromuscular junction receptors were not fully saturated. ..”

” Patient may present to emergency departments with systemic effects of BTX-A after cosmetic injection. The clinical response of the two patients in this report suggests that antitoxin treatment should still be considered even if patients present late.”

This is only part of the article as I probably can’t post full  in here..

This is really good article because it proves that toxin does get into bloodstream and can circulate for much longer than patients are told. My case and Klaudia’s also proves that it does not need to be high dose to be still detectable in the bloodstream  and not only days but months and even years later. The whole problem is that patients are refused to be tested for it by hospitals and doctors. We can’t stop people to have  injections or manufactures make money but something need to be done to force hospitals to help victims when there is time for it.

Here is arricle abstract.

Sending you all healing thoughts..


Skin biopsy result?

Hi All,

Could anyone who did skin biopsy for small fibre density tell me please your test result if known?

Surgeon who took a biopsy said I have drasticaly low. Profesor who did tests said the norm is 10.7 and I have 0.58…And sample was taken not 3mm but 1 cm/1,5 cm deep.

I wonder how bad it is?

Could anyone who had this test done let me know so I could compare please? Or maybe anyone know more about it .. i would be very thankful.

thank you

VU x


Hi everyone, I would like to ask those of you who have  lost a weight and maybe keep losing fat if you checked your Leptin level?

One of the side effects of botulinum toxin is metabolism problem – in some leaflets even named as Anorexia.

I have now checked mine because I do eat but still lose fat, and my Leptin level is higher causing  my metabolism work non stop no matter how much I eat. What’s weird I do feel hungry which in Leptin high levels should decrease my apetite.

I wonder if anyone else has similar symptoms?

Epilepsy atack

Hi all, I  have been tested for small fibre neuropathy plus motor and autonomic neuropathy. I have done biopsy to confirm it. I am also diagnosed with dysautonomia, for very long time I tried to avoid any medications apart ocasionaly benzodiazepines when I had really bad stiffness. Last week I have been in bed already when just like that my legs start to shake, then I got tremors in my whole body and really bad burning in the back of my neck which went down to my lower back and ribs, the burning was like a fire and I got high temperature in 10 mins. I thought it will go away soon but it went that bad that I ended up in hospital with ” epilepsy like atack” . My daughter could not hold me down and my mother couldn’t check my BP because I was jumping so bad. My face went white and blue around nose and lips , also my hands and arms were white with livedo reticularis all over . In the same time I had huge muscles spasm in my entire body, I could not stand the pain from thightening muscles.
In hospital I had lumbar puncture, blood work and tk of my head. Of course they found nothing , blood  work showed muscles and heart enzymes – CK and troponin t elevated but no heart atack. After few days they came back to normal but my mioglobin is low.
few days later I could feel it coming again so I quickly took diazepam ( two tablets – 4 mg) because I was that scared to have it as  bad again.. this time I have managed to stop this evil tremors quicker but the burning came as bad as that time and this time also in my both arms . I think it is neuropathy geting worse and worse, I have been told to start medication and got pregabalin plus methylprednisolone and I still did not take it because I’m so scared. My muscles and skin keeps atrophying and I have no idea what to do. I am trying to find out if Methylprednisolone could help to stop my tissues wasting and also help my blood vessels which are also wasting! The nurse who gives me IV fluids said I have no blood in my veins and they are breaking cause are so weak.
I also have very low blood flow to my head and neck, I wake up flat and white with terrible pain in te back of head and it is worse day by day.
I wonder if it is not some kind of autoimmune reaction in my tissues because I had lots of rashes and IgE elevated which is when there is allergic reaction. I have done lots of autoantibodies tests but nothing has been found apart that IgE and anti TPO – 1300
but all endocrinologists says I dont need treatment for Hashimoto as long as my ft3, ft4 and TSH are normal..
I am very bad and keep deteriorating and I feel lost. The time does not do good for me , it is actually oposite. I have dents in my legs, on my belly on both sides  under my ribs , chest, back, neck, my hands and feet look like anorexia patient and my face is almost gone. I have lost and continue losing all fat from everywhere. Skin, hair, nails are dry and look like ischemic. My legs still get blue in standing from blood pooling down.
Please if anyone tried or heard that steroids like prednisolone or Methylprednisolone helped to anyone please could you let me know.. or maybe there is anything else that helps..
i have also checked my vit b12 and it is too much in my blood , like it does not get into my tissues but circulate in blood.
I forgot to write that my CRP nad OB is higher  now, not much but it is and I also suffer from pain in my all joints but again no any antibodies been found.  I lose my hearing and vission is so much worse too.  My skin on the face look like there is no blood , brows dont grow back and skin is red infamed and peels off. I am almost bald now.

I was so hope it will get better in time but In my case I am more sick.  I am now 26 months out.

God bless you all..

Blood vessels dysregulation – everyone should read..

hello everyone, I know we all trying to find out why we still suffer so long after poisoning , I do too test myself even thought I really am tired of it and especially when all my tests come back normal, negative, nothing they can treat.. so far..

I have found out that botulinum toxin affects other nerves endings unfortunately these nerves DONT recover like muscles.. Which confirmed toxin specialist – an asshole who previously denied my botulism and ran off from hospital.

Anyway, as we know toxin binding to neurons is irreversible and recovery comes by new nerves endings sprouting. This happen usualy if muscles are affected – why there is no any information about recovery of autonomic nervous system or glands or blood vessels walls or anything else damaged by this shit in a leaflets or information provided by doctors? The answer is simple – because it does not recover the same way and in the same time line.

Another very important thing is that every damaged nerve sprouting  not just one new ending but more and thus makes our body start to get crazy usually in second year. We start having signals not just to one nerve but pathologicaly sprouted nerves which are not the same FOREVER. Peope think that the worse is behind but for many unfortunately its the begining of long different suffering depending on the damage. Spasms, cramps, weakness then cramps again, stiffness, pain, cold reaction, stress  reaction, hair loss, skin problems, stomach, kidneys, migraine, digestion, etc etc.

ONLY people who has been more lucky and toxin traveled via axons and ended up in muscles recover quicker usualy up to a year. It really does not have to be any other disease or Lyme to explain longer suffering from this evil drug. We have so many nerves that regulate our body apart muscles that it is really simple to read how the body function to understand that damage is done and nothing will be the same. Autonomic nervous system needs even 5 years to recover ( if ever). I really dont know why some people are surprised to be still sick longer than a year or 2.

How can we be healthy up to 2 years if toxin can be still active circulating in our blood? It is still in my blood for example. I have been tested AGAIN by spectometry mass and this shit still circulate. Im not talking here about antibodies guys, it has been found light chain active toxin in my blood which means this is still able to make me feel worse and I am 2 years out in july. So.. I would suggest to try to do the right test if its possible of course.

Here below I will post a link to very good info about blood vessels dysregulation which is also botulinum toxin’s job to do in our body..!po=15.1715

Hope it helps..

Important info

Hello everyone, I don’t know if you ever found this documentation but I will post it in here incase someone did not.
In 2009 Dysport manufacture Ipsen tried to get aproval for cosmetic use under brand name RELOXIN. They were not successfull for 300 U vials and with information they put in here so.. They have changed vials to 125 su, changed the brand name and hidden lots of informations.. And got aproval in 2010 for AZZALURE.
Take a look of what they hidden from public..
This is a link :




Hello all,

I am 22 months out,my life is hell.
I have been diagnosed with polineuropathy, fibromyalgia, cardiovascular system damage, muscles atrophy, skin atrophy, fat loss, alopecia,thermoragulation problem, anxiety is much worse than ever. I am on daily IV fluids because i cant absorb fluids when I drink.Autonomic nervous system damage. Have referal for EEG because of central sleep apnea suspicion.Plus awful face and neck disfigurment.
It is hard to stay positive and I feel like give up. I want this nightmare end. Its too much for me.
Hope you all doing better..

Ischemia gets really worse

Hello everyone

I just need to ask you guys, I know many of you have/had muscles tightess but did anyone exprerience also ischemia or really bad blood flow? I have now white hands, feet, face, ears and actually my whole body feels tight, stiff and ischemic, Skin is white and stiff, I’m so cold and can see there is not normal blood flow everywhere where previously I had my veins enlarged and capillaries were huge too making my skin burn and purple. Now it all gets tight, stiff and ischemic even joints. Skin is dry and my hair dies. Have pain everywhere.
I have no idea what to do now,I also have trouble passing urine, make a poo and can feel my organs inside like stones.
I am now 19 months out, this is damn so hard and scary, will this improve ? Im asking because I remember someone here mentioned this as a side effects that last years.. I cant stand it , it gets worse daily and affecting even y troat and eyes..

Will be very thankful for your comments and advice what helps you guys with this kind of symptoms..

Skin burning

Hi All,

Im 18 months out and now my skin is burning again,Im very worried what is going on ,did anyone had hot, burning skin so late? I cant touch my skin it hurts and on fire, I cant take anymore, still so sick and now this again..

Healing thoughts to you all guys

Oxygen in drops anyone tried?

Hi all, just thought I will share with you I have also done bioresonance test now and it has shown botulinum toxin in my system stil.. Doctor who did the test has told me about Oxy Max Oxygen in drops to drink, she said people with Lyme get very good resuts with this and it could also be helpful for botulism toxin. Also I am going for consultation about ozonotherapy and high dosw of vitamin C in drip. Dont know if anyone tried that all yet but I thought it could be very helpful as Vit C is never absorbed fully by our system and terapeutic results are when given intravenously..

Here is link to Oxy drops

I will post about it when I get more info.

Sending all healing thoughts xoxo

Much worse at month 17…

Hi all,

Since last weeks I have very bad time and last days even worse. Yesterday my daughter had to call for ambulance as my heart rate dropped down to 30 and I almost passed out, blood pressure is very low too, needed to get a drip. They did lots of blood work which came back absolutely normal, doctor said he thinks toxin is stilin in my body- well i know that.. But why my body deteriorate so much so quick and my body turns to shaking mush now? I’m losing muscles and they turn to loose sagging skin, my blood doesnt circulate normaly, it moves when i move, if I stand after fiew mins whole blood goes down to my limbs which get purple-blue ane burn like hell and face is white and stiff, when I hold my limbs up they get white in 3 seconds, ambulance doctor was shocked, my heart then goes to 140 and I feel very dizzy. They said its blood gravity and it is not coming back up normal, it gets worse daily, i have no idea what to do and where to look for help, i feel sick, have pain inside my belly and I look more and more sick, my hair dying and I almost bald, Im seriously scared now and I feel My body dies and I cant stop it, cant stand pain in my eyes which are now completely sucked inside scull and have lost my muscles around , it is all too scary now, i feel im losing my tissues due to lack of blood and have no idea what to do. My veins and capillaries dont work but vascular doctor only checked pulse in my limbs and escaped leaving me in tears, thats unbelievable how they treat us. Im so weak, Im more sick than i was a year ago and so helpless, did anyone hve this bad symptoms?


study about botox affecting blood vessels

No doubt our blood vessels are damaged by this poison, in my opinion it is what causing most of our long term issues, swellings, tightness, weakening, stiffness, coldness, hair loss , rosacea, and much more. The thing is – what happens with vessels later?? After a year, two, three.. we notice hairloss, stiffness and other issues more – I am not an expert of course , I might be wrong, but in my opinion and information I have found about blood vessels- they are damaged and never work the way they did. I will post more info about it.

Sending healing thoughts to all xx