All posts by ScaredyCat

About ScaredyCat

33, gym bunny, clean eater, none smoker/drinker. London based TV extra/model/performer. Dysport - June 8th 2015. Worst decision of my entire life - everyday symptoms since....

32 months out massive relapse after acupuncture

Well once again Im on here writing this in case anybody else wants to read my posts. Oh boy this weeks been terrible. I have been so lucky in that my life is relatively normal. The only time I get relapses is when I go out partying too much and get no sleep. So ive been good and cut back on this and as long as i get sleep i’m fine. Jet lag used to make me bad also… I can honestly say i’ve been living a relatively normal life. Until I tried acupuncture and acupressure last week. I left feeling dizzy and basically… its brought back all my symptoms worse that ever before. Full of facial weirdness, blurry vision, tight throat, fullness of the ears, heavy weight on my head and shoulders, stiff neck, and feeling out of my body.  Its sad i’m back here. I must have been stimulated too much.

Writing this just as an outlet. Hopefully it’ll pass in a week like usual….

Did anybody else have a bad reaction to acupuncture / acupressure?

Cold that wont go away at 6 week today

Its been 1 year since i had the injections today. Im living life relatively normally with a few lingering symptoms, are try to keep myself to myself. But this cold i caught on April 27th wont shift. Its been six weeks today since it started, and I know its not allergies BC i took tablets and they didnt improve it. I have been to the Dr and she was very dismissive and scored me for going in with “a little cold” (that was at the 3/4 week mark). At this point the “little cold” had put me in bed for 3 days flat and I was unable to eat – I had a high tempratire.. so iim guessing it was flu.

Anywyas… now its getting to be a joke as its rolling round to 2 monthswith a snotty nose and I dont know what it is – even Sinusitis apparently clears up by itself in about 3 weeks… so could it be that? Then i thought about the Dysport and wondered if anybody on here had a suggestion or any experience with similar. I am blowing my nose every half hour, its snotty and clear but sometimes has dark streaks of black in it. Sorry if that graphic but i was told if it was green it would be infected… so what could it be?



image image image

I’m 9 months out.

I have been coping with this I’ll mess okay – still have swallowing troubles if I get any negative feelings like anger/sorrow/hurt – my vision is still blurry, I get tingles in my right leg, I have head pressure a lot of the time, and full ears. This skin give issue raised its head in Feb and exploded over my entire face up to my eyes. I had to go to see a doctor and am on different creams to help it and thankfully after a month it’s going away slowly. I have a friend I talk to on here to told me she had hives so I’m wondering if it’s related to my injections… It seems other have experienced it so I thought I’d report it on here. My face was blistering so bad i didn’t go out. It hurt to sleep. It wept and stang.

Anybody else have  this?

and I had a ear specialist explain to me something very wise; the more you think of tinnitus (ear ringing) the worse & louder it’ll get. Because you think of it lots it’s etched into your mind – the brain stores the thought near the front so you will remember it. So if you think about it more, it will bother you more as the brain categorises it as “important”.

good luck everybody X




Turning 33 in a few days & very Depressed


its 7 months almost. IM turning 33 just before the Botox date and when I look at how my life is panning out I admit I feel like ending it.

Christmas was as usual a let down. I’m alone – I wish I had a enthusiastic family & got gifts and dinner and a tree …. All the things so many family’s take for granted. I guess that’s cuz it’s normal. Not for me. I’ve bin sick two years running now & spent it alone. My family don’t do Christmas due to my mother. My sister goes off with her boyfriend. I stay by myself in London. It’s a sad time of year and I hope one day I’ll get the festive cheer I long for. At 33 it’s sad I havnt found it yet. But no point rushing…

Ive bin I’ll since I flew home from seeing my boyfriend in USA. Then I caught a virus or a cold of some sort. My health has massively deteriorated and I spend Chrismas alone struggling t breathe on the sofa. I am terribly lonely and sad to say I failed at getting any work done at this busy critical time which for me is important in December.

I believe I have another infection of sorts.  But my main issue is insomnia. No matter what I do I can’t fall to sleep. I’m awake all night watching the light come round… And it’s taking its toll on me. 30 days I’ve not slept for. I look tired, I feel weird & im depressed. The depression this month is unbareable. I hope each night I don’t wake up. I’m saddened by this as I have a lovely boyfriend who’s visiting tomorrow but I just feel like he’d be better off with somebody else.

The botox has hurt my face. I have a lump between my brows that shows on photos now & my skin is kinda puffy. It’s like it’s gone looser on me. And I have deep creases beneath my eyes that were not there before. It’s aged me. I look old and worn out. And I’m suicidal. Can’t imagine my boyfriend putting up with this for long. I need desperately to get over this deep set back. We are going on holiday next week but I swear down I don’t feel excited – it’s like my feelings aren’t there anymore. He has noticed and said I don’t seem Xcited or bothered… I should be, but because I’m ill I find it hard. This depression is bad.

Im going to the doctors tomorrow and hope I’ll at least get this cold cleared. Miserable three weeks it’s been. I need to try to accept my face, although I hate my reflection. I’ve never looked so bad in my life and I’m so angry that I did it to myself. But I have nobody else to blame.

I just want Christmas over with to. That might help lift my mood. Christmas sucks.

Research showing any cosmetic put ONTO skin ends up in tissues & bloodstream

so I read this today –

they say by simpler putting sun screen on its later found in the skin and eventually the bloodstream.

so if something that’s rubbed into the top of the skin can find its way into our bodies surely injecting something would easily enter blood stream?

Funny since I’ve had doctors laugh at me and say Botox doesn’t go into the blood stream.

Oh and my injector said “have your frown lines gone? If they have then the product has stuck there – there’s no way it could move anywhere else as it’s obviously working”

just wanted to share this. Plus it’s good info as I believe we all must stay healthy.

Healing vibes to all xxx

Relapses – can anybody help me with this please?

I am 6 months out today.

I seem to get better & am able to work thank god. Occasionally things happen in my body that are weird. Like at Halloween I had a terrible, serious pain in my side – it was agony. So I went to hospital & they suspected kidney stones. I was sent away with nothing more & told to follow it up with my doctor. It’s now gone, so I believe I’m one of those people where I get pain that moves round my body every now and then – I’ve also had pain in my foot and hand too since having Dysport. Most recently my lips started to burn. For 4 days they were agony & I thought something was surely going to happen as I have filler in them – but it went away & nothing became if it. (Phew!) I’m learning not to panick when I get these random pains now…but I do find it hard as I get anxious.

I still today have visual disturbances all the time, it’s very graphic what I see – almost like a computer game. My ears ring constantly. but I’m learning to deal with it all…. That is, until I fly.

My boyfriend lives in LA. I’m London. When I fly THERE, I’m ok. I get tired but genrally I feel ok. Nothing happens. When I fly home I feel awful. My symptoms are FULL force again.

Louder ear ringing, visual disturbances get worse, swallowing problems, neck ache, pressure in throat/ears/neck, shoulder and neck stiffness, my body is exhausted, and the annoying one – Insomnia…. I cannot sleep! I mean I get it – everybody feels crap after jet lag but my Botox symptoms are making it miserable. :(

It’s now day 9 after coming home and I’m still really not well with full symptoms again. I feel depressed and tearful today because of it. I don’t know how to help myself.

The sad fact is – My symptoms only seem to surface after flying home from LA. Or getting on a train.

So does this mean I’m making myself go back to stage one & not getting over it each time I fly? I’m starting to worry that I’m not going to get better because I keep getting ill again after the flight. then as soon as I pick up again I’ll start planning another trip to see my boyfriend.

Does anybody else have any experience with this? Or tips? I’m get a bit down every time I come home obviously as it is without feeling ill for days afterwards.

Thankyou if anybody reads this. Preying for everybody to get better.

Help! Lips burning?? Is this Botox??

anybody out there have issues with thier lips after Dysport or Botox?

I had my lips filled in Dec 2014. Then Dysport in June 2015. Six months apart. I have never had any unusual symptoms after the lip filler – healed fine, wasn’t sore at all & looks great. Now after the Dysport, my lips seem more sensitive… But never persistent pain like now. It’s been about 4/5 days gradually getting worse. They sting, burn,  feel sensitive, and are causing me anxiety.

im 5 months out.

Is this Botox related? Anybody else had strange feelings in thier lips like me? I’d appreciate some feedback please as its starting to worry me.


Thankyou ou in advance

Waiting for MOUSE TEST RESULTS whilst my body changes :(

Hello everybody. Im new to this site, after almost two months of reading &  trying to sort my body out now I guess im ready to speak…

So im 32, im very healthy. I go gym, walking, I don’t smoke or drink and I am long gone a party girl. My weekends are spent at work, I work in the entertainment business – so TV extras, modelling, promo, and I have just started a business as a mermaid where you can hire me for your events such as big venue events or kids parties. I moved to London after travelling in Dec. I have a failry new boyfriend who lives in Hollywood – LA. Hes in the show-business side of work & my time is split between working and flying to see him as his job doesn’t allow him the freedom I have.

I was feeling very happy with how my life was panning out this year. After going through a tough time last year with my health and contracting a nerve disease that im dealing with more than I hopes I would. I figured a little pick me up with some wrinkle killer would help maintain my image – having a partner in Hollywood probably didn’t help, so I took the plunge June 8th.

I went to a dentistry called Ecculadent in Mill Hill. Saw a lady who talked me into having 3 areas not just the 2 I originally wanted. I had DYSPORT. Id previously had Botox twice before with no issues. Blundered into this newer – cheaper toxin and within 24hrs felt weird.

Day 1 My eyes went blurry first.
Then my vision changed – it was as though the floor was moving & I was drunk…without being drunk.
Then back of my head hurt – deep intense headache.

Day 2 my neck went stiff. I thought id slept wrong so didnt think much of it…just took pain killers.

Day 3, the pain and stiffness crept down throughout my back & my ears felt full/blocked – like I was on a plane and coulnt pop them. By now I as worried… I called the injector & was told there was no reports of this & it was unlikely to do with the Dysport.

My headaches were strong, my eyes were all over the place, I felt unsteady on my feet due to the visual disturbances I was seeing and then to top it off I got full all over body weakness.

On June 18th I was admitted to hospital
I couldn’t walk or see properly,  my ears had gone full and the pressure in my head was unbearable. I was shaking, my chest was tight and I was finding it hard to breath in proper breaths. They kept me in on a heart monitor.

The next day I noticed the white pillow was covered in hair – on closer inspection I reaslised it was eyebrow hair. When I touched them in the bathroom mirror, they were falling out at the touch of my finger.

I saw a few Dr’s. They were all different in opinion – one was adamant it was just anxiety nothing more and was very blunt with me. By now id researched that you could get Boulism from this & I requested a test & he told me there wasn’t a test for this disease. I just looked at him in disbelief. Then he told me even if I were to have it, the anti toxin is so exspensive they only give it to people who cant breath. So basically I was ok to just suffer the list of things I was experiencing and be hooked to a hospital bed for the night.  There was another Dr that tested my muscles by doing a crouching test. I failed as I couldn’t get back up by myself. My legs had stopped working. No strength. But he still refused to help me. So I stayed overnight by myself with no visitors as I don’t have an real friends in the city yet…

When I got home things steadied. I had to see my Doctor and he prescribed me anti anxiety and sleeping pills. I had now got insomnia – and when I tried to sleep, my eyes would roll round in my head by themselves. Did anybody else have this? I have had to go onto sleeping pills just so I can actually GET to sleep! Without them id be awake all night every night.

I was so unwell I had to cancel my trip to visit my BF. He was upset & didn’t take it so well. Our phone conversations dwindelled into depressing, negative & argumentative talk that sometimes wore me to the bone. He didn’t understand I honestly think and as much as hed contest it, he was tough on me & I didn’t think id see him again. They say men who hurt get angry – well I put up with anger ontop of all my symptoms for a month. It sucked from every angle. I had people telling me “You look fine” and “youre eating well” and “you don’t look sick” – it was like everybody thought I was just putting it on. It angers me to this day.

Anyway, I got that angry about it all I got my ass on a plane symptoms and all and flew to Poland to get the MOUSE TEST. It was hard work as I was ill, and I couldn’t speak their language but somehow I got by as I met a polish lady who just happened to have ‘Mermaid’ written on the front of her top – she came out of nowhere & asked me if I needed help. Because of this lady I got to the right place and got tested. I havnt had my results yet though… waiting is a killer. I only know of two other girls who got their tests… One is my friend who helped me on this quest. So to both of these girls –  thankyou.

Sine then I have to write about TRAINS – IF YOU USE TRAINS this may affect your muscles in your body. The pressure in the cabin changes due to the speed you go & tunnels make it worse. I went out of London on an hour train ride, to see a friend. straight away on the trip I felt like my chest and throat were closing up – I couldn’t breath, my ears went blocked and my eyes were going to burst out my head!! The next day all muscle weakness returned and I felt awful. Was bed bound for another 5 days afterwards. Then my face and arm went numb – This is something to think about. Pressure in trains made me bad. Does anybody else have this or know about it?

Also I wasn’t to ask if anybody has experienced any changes with other parts of the body? My question is about BREAST AUGMENTATION…
 it seems like they have both started to wrinkle. I know I cant get creasing/wrinkling of the actual implant as its a hard gel that doesn’t move/fold/crease. Its my body building scar tissue around the implant – BUT THIS HAS ONLY HAPPENED SINCE THE BOTOX! Im GUTTED!!! What on earth is that about? Theyre not new but now I can see it in the mirror when I don’t wear a bra. Its since my muscle weakness… ive had them 3 years without ANY issues and now without a bra they have changed and are showing ripples. I noticed this after a month after injections. :(  Did anybody else have this?

Alsi I should say I too have had a dent develop in my forehead. Its not noticeable in daylight and to random people but I see it even in the mirror. Its at its worse when im on camera. It breaks my heart bc I had this toxin put into my face thinking id make me look better for my job and my man… and now ive got all sorts of weird stuff happening.

Im intolerant to most foods so eating veg isn’t easy and I get by eating the same old stuff constantly. I have currently one month after injections gone from 9st 2lb to 8st 6lb. in 30  days. Im a size 8, 5’6.5 so look quite tiny already. I do take vitamins to try help and drink mounds of water. Im thirsty loads anyways…. which reminds me.

I hope that this message reaches out to others and can help in any way. I am plagued with the idea im going to develop more symptoms – but for now im glad to report I found the strength and courage to get to LA to see my man. My muscle weakness has gone & getting on a plane didn’t hurt my ears. I avoid trains & have refused to to to the theme park with him as my ears & eyes couldn’t deal with it… Im taking it easy. We managed to go on a bike ride along the beach last week and I was ok. I just pop pills for my headache and as always am on sleeping pills to force myself to get some rest. Anxiety is passing – I have only needed pills for the plane ride so far in a week ive not needed them. Im trying to remind myself each time I feel weird its just the toxin.

My heart is with anybody suffering from this toxin. And I prey we all get better and can learn from our mistakes. I think my symptoms aren’t as bad as some people on here – so I still sometimes consider myself lucky. My boyfriend keeps telling me im not sick and im getting better – making it to LA was ab ig step granted and im fighting with myself silently. He asks frequently what im thinking or if im ok and its whats occupying my thoughts. ALL THE TIME. My muscles moving in my head don’t allow for me to stop thinking about it much… But I do ask myself am I better?

Is what im experiencing “side effects” like my doctors and boyfriend say… or something more sinister? I don’t suppose anybody knows. Its just a waiting game.

I just want my body back to normal – expression lines and all. xx