Instructions – Posting in ‘Improved Update’

When you go to add a ‘new post’ in the ‘Improved Update’ section click on the ‘+ New’ post as you normally would for a regular post.  You should see the categories box to the right of the area where you type your new post.  Please tick both ‘All Posts’ and ‘Improved Update’.  This will mean your post will be in both sections.

selections

 

If when you go to the ‘+ New’ post to add your post you don’t see the categories box to the right of the screen you will need to click on ‘screen options’ – top right of your screen on the page that you are on to add a new post-  and tick the following:

screen options

 

This will bring up the categories box and allow you to post in ‘Improved Update’.

Please let us know if you need any help with this.

 

Elevated liver function tests

Hi, I am new here and I am so glad that I’ve found this site. I am 16 months post Botox injections and have every test under the sun to find out what is wrong with me. I never once thought it could be the Botox up until now. I had cosmetic Botox in the forehead and between the eyes and crows feet. 10 days later I was in hospital with swallowing and breathing difficulties and tremors. Then it seemed to settle for a few months. January 2014 was the beginning then of all of my symptoms. I’ve had my gallbladder removed. I’ve had an endoscopy, a colonoscopy, an MRCP, and an MRI of my back. All clear. Yet I have pain where my liver is and the docs keep referring it back to gallbladder surgery. My liver bloods are getting worse instead of better, my iron stores are extremely low and they had been normal a month ago. Has anyone else had a problem with their liver? If so I would be very grateful if you could share your experience. I am absolutely terrified I’m going to die. One of the liver enzymes that is really elevated relates to muscle damage of an organ and my doc says it could be heart related. Now I am really scared.

JoanT

Site Update & New Section ‘Improved Update’

We have recently updated the site to the new version of WordPress. Sometimes when sites are updated there can be issues – please let us know if you have noticed any changes with the site that need to be addressed.

There has also been a new section added under ‘Recovered’ called ‘Improved Update’. This was a suggestion from Anne and this allows members to let other members know that they have really improved and feel that this information will give others hope however they are not yet ‘fully recovered’.

Cameron is working on trying to set up email notifications for members when they receive a message from another member in their private message area.

Not Better, Just Different

I am starting to lose track of time here — symptoms have been ongoing; my eyes are still not really better and I have not had much more neck and occipital pain. I am having tremors in my back when I lie down and difficulty sitting for long periods; also standing for long periods.

I got my first MRI of my neck. I have two bulging discs — C5 and C6 which operate the arms and explain why I was waking up with hand paralysis; and c6 and C7. One thing that is really bothering me is that one side of my mouth is sort of frozen and the other side is kind of floppy so talking makes me look sort of grotesque.  My spinal cord is narrowing.

At some point — I think about six weeks in — my sacroiliac joint kind of slipped away from my spine. This has really contributed a lot to my postural instability and also the pain in my ankles and feet. I get really horrible pain when I am walking or just standing and  nothing seems to help. I’m also really worried about a dead spot on the back of my left calf; pins and needles actually in both legs.

I am on another course of prednisone and a muscle relaxer called flexeril, which is really helpful because I think the spasms are doing more damage and torquing my spine.  However just standing and talking to someone is difficult because I have to operate my mouth and maintain postural balance and the same time. My vision is blurry so I am not really sure if I am connecting to anyone when I am communicating with them.

I am scheduled to see a neurologist next week.

It’s amazing how much pain and difficulty a person can be in and still somewhat function. I wake up about 7 in the morning and try to have some kind of day, get my dishes done, that kind of thing. Going to the grocery store is really difficult. Talking on the phone is difficult.

So there is difficult. Difficult is really just being able to navigate for myself without anyone else’s help; but then…there is the pain, which comes on especially at night.

What happens is that I make it until about 2 PM and then I have to fall into bed. I’ll sleep like the dead for three hours and wake up sort of confused, and then mostly I’m mostly thinking about food and how I am going to get some in me.

Last month when I started posting here, I had really high hopes that I would be basically all better by now. But I’m not better. It’s just different.

I am now starting to really worry about what is going to happen to me.  I can barely function. All my savings are going to support the endeavor of just staying alive. I am not working. I have no income. I just keep paying bills, and hoping I get better before I’m homeless.

 

Because one thing is for sure. Being homeless in this condition would really, really suck.

 

Fat Atrophy

I think I touched on this before…I am wondering if anyone has experienced fat atrophy. I waS told by a doctor that “yes” Botox can cause this. I feel so alone with this issue. It is so disturbing that at 20-21 months this could be worse. I am noticing this in my face, hands and upper body. Not sure about my legs. I have lost a lot of tone there, but still have fat. I have not lost weight just the fat layer under my skin. So that now it feels like skin and bone. If anyone has experienced this or has any info they could share, I would be so grateful. I just don’t know if this subcutaneous fat layer can recover? This symptom is taking a toll on me….. Thanks all!

amount of units

I was originally told by my dentist after enquiring about how many units I had received I was told 122 units.  I have now found out this wasn’t true and I have now received the paperwork and it was actually 164 units I had received. I am now so so scared Even worse than I thought I have done my research and says dysport is only FDA approved for 50 units in the forehead area. Has anyone on here had this amount of dysport injected into them?

tilt table test done today

I had the tilt table test done today,not a nice experience I made it to 35 minutes on the table then the numbness and tingling starters then I passed out they had to stop the test they said my heart rate dropped from 98bmp to 41bpm.the nurse said I’ve had a positive reading now for the test. She said my oxygen is not getting to my brain and my heart, in so scared now I don’t no what this means for me.  They just said oh the dysport will wear off But I no it won’t from all the story’s on here.

Where Botox was born: 1950s Dr. Ed Schantz

Does it help to know the history of how botox went from bioterrorism agent of WW2 to your body? The video calls the technology transfer to a medical therapy as “imagination” which is an interesting spin. The young guy in the video is now in Wisconsin and researching infant botulism. I do think it is fascinating to see what 1 million injections look like in this “purification process.” Funny, I purify my water by taking toxins OUT not making them more potent. Forgive the plug for therapeutic at the end of the video; this poor guy is like everyone else, just trusting the doctor and getting relief for a physical aliment but he is getting a lot more than he bargained for.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPsX24uw8PQ

Research Articles from Google Scholar

Botulinum neurotoxin injected into rat whiskers migrates to brain. (and rats are less sensitive to BoNT/A than mice or humans) http://www.jneurosci.org/content/28/14/3689.short

The Italians found spread of toxin in 1996: http://www.neurology.org/content/46/4/1158.short

And the rabbits in 1952 B.A.G. (stands for Before Allergan Grants). Researchers in London were aware of how the close cousin Tentanus spread throughout the entire body and they wanted to test if and how BoNT spread to the central nervous system. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1366008/?page=1

Science, a respected journal, reports this peer-reviewed journal article “Botulinum Toxin, Type A: Effects on Central Nervous Symptom” in 1965 B.A.

Abstract reads: This study has demonstrated that type A botulinum toxin has a depressant effect on the cortical electrical activity of anesthetized and unanesthetized monkeys. Simultaneous recordings of vital signs indicated a relative lack of change in the electrocardiogram, respiration, blood pressure, and heart rate during this time. The change in the electroencephalogram appeared cyclic in nature and independent of dose or time. All animals exhibited signs of respiratory failure characterized by a gradual interference with neuromuscular transmission at the diaphragm, and subsequently died an anoxic death.

limp chimp

And if the dead monkeys could talk they would tell you what a horrific slow torturous death they died in showing the spread of botulinum toxin to the central nervous system. When it first hit their veins all the monkeys lost consciousness within 5 minutes and didn’t regain consciousness for one hour. Then they spend the next 3-8 days dying.  (Photo credit: Jane Goodall Institute, actual monkey was a rhesus) Their lung muscles were paralyzed. ALL DIED. Fifty years ago the science community knew botulinum toxin killed monkeys.  http://www.sciencemag.org/content/147/3661/1036.short

The the wise and immortal words of our friend Deep Throat from the Watergate Scandal “Follow Da Money.” In evaluating publications it is wise to research the authors and determine if there is a financial connection to the research grant funder. When I unearth a 6-digit contribution from a corporation it destroys the credibility for me. No one bites the hand that feeds them. I fondly refer to the BoNT articles in the 1950s and 1960s as B.A. meaning Before Allergan invested so heavily in creating research on their “bioterrorism toxin turned miracle drug.”

Btw, Allergan recently sold for $66 Billion. Yes, B as in boy, billion. That is roughly the personal net worth of two Walton family members. In perspective, Walmart global sales last year were $476 billion supported by 2.2 million employees.money strings jpeg

This healthy suspicion is true of all academic research of which I am intimately aware. Cuts in funding have forced academics to turn to corporations for supplemental funding. President Reagan said “Trust, but verify.” I would shorten it to just “verify.”

Unfortunately the average consumer, or even the brilliant consumer for that matter, has a very slim chance of researching and convincing a doctor of anything contrary to what they have been taught or told verbally by the pharmaceutical rep.  (Compound that with the fact the brilliant consumer is likely suffering perplexing symptoms from a mysterious ailment.)

Luckily there is Google Scholar and you can at least print the abstracts and ask your doctor to download the paper for free and review. If they have  spare time. If they don’t think you are crazy. If they want to be humbled and proved wrong. (That’s a lot of IFs but don’t let that stop you. It is YOUR health and in YOUR BEST INTEREST to become your own health advocate.)

Dizzyness blurred Vision

I’ve been suffering with Dizzyness fainting and blurred vision for the whole time since my dysport injections,

Can only one suggest anything I can try to try help this a bit please.it is so so scary.

Is it my brain that is making me dizzy all the time?do you think it has done damage to my brain?

for those with facial dents & injuries!!! & (face club) -dermaflage-

hi everyone.. i have not been able to be here much and wanting to write an update.. things are sooooo much better than they were this time last year!!! my heatlth is healing my mind is healing (slowly) a lot of my face has healed but i have to say the dents really arent changing very much. as the rest of my face heals they look less drastic, but they still look pretty noticeable. as i regain more normal movement in the rest of my face, my entire face looks more normal.. but, it is definitely permanently scarred. (so kris, i know you have face problems that are -not- dents, most of those face problems for me, have healed!!!! the sunkeness is better though its still there a bit. my eyes are their normal sized and color again, and i have most of my movement back… the puffiness has really almost completely gone too. so i think a lot of your problems will still heal kris!!!) if i could just cut off my forhead with a chainsaw (my dearest fantasy) id look pretty normal at this point, except for my body being stiff and sore as a million year old person.

for now though i have noticed a couple more people coming here with dents in their face.. this is a problem not everyone gets, but certain people just seem to get specific damages to the injected muscles on top of everything else. if this is you, maybe you could discuss your story here so we could all compare notes? i saw some peopel asking about it but the posts have been buried a bit..

for those wondering most of these dents are caused by ‘muscle recruitment’ this means that when your brain realizes that your face is paralyzed, it cant make its normal movements…. and cause the brain is very creative it will quickly ‘recruit’ and ‘reroute’ other nerves and muscles to do the job. this is normally a good thing, but in our case, it caused these horrible injuries on our face that probably, unfornately, wil be very hard to get rid of as its not just a muscular injury but a rewiring of the brain. its a comlicated and multilayered injury unfortunately and the little ive been able to learn about it, most drs are totally clueles. (anyone surprised?? )

i found one very rich dr in beverly hills who does actors a lot.. he imediately told me this was ‘muscle recruitment’ and called it a ‘hallmark of awful plastic surgery’ he said it was 100% caused by bad technique and was totally preventable. he said it was the most common undersirable side effect after a frozen face, he said it as more common than droopy eyes. i asked why most drs dont know what it is and he said straight out ‘they are not sophisticated enough to understand what they are seeing’. (or if they know, they deny it, becuase its well known among those who recognize it, that its a side effect that does -not- go away)

i have tried the frownies, they worked very well for a number of months and then just didnt work anymore.. the dent became too deep for the frownies to affect it :< but while they worked, they were a life saver.

massage helps, exercise helps etc, and wearing my hair over my face, literally prevented me from killing myself a few years ago… my bangs are my total security blanket right now. however i found soemthing this week that i really want to tell people about.. im basically writing this post just for this its somethign called 'dermaflage' its a silicone based makeup for covering scars.

i bought some and tried it and im sooo impressed….. it fills indentations and scars almost invisibly… its nothing but a little silicon, it peels right off when you are done with it. its such a mental relief to be able to go out and just not think about how weird i look.. it really, really works well.

so… for those wondering about facial dents.. id like us all to get together and compare notes a bit, one thing im really curous about, did anyone -ever- have their dents go away. and also, have you notices any correlation between stuff you do, and improvement. in other words im interested to see if theres any diference in the rate of improvement, between peopel who did lots of stuff to try to fix it, or peopel who just left it alone.. im jsut curiuos if any of this effort actually helps or if its just liek the rest of this stuff, you'll get better or not no matter what you do.. ive done a lot to help myself with this, and its made a difference to the rest of my face problems, but the dents remain. i really cant tell if they are better, or worse, or what cause they continually change. its really going to be a mental releif to just cover them with silicion for a while, and just put it out of my mind even more.. if i had a good camera i would post pics of how well it works but im not sure i can show it well.. but hoestly, dent pepole, DERMAFLAGE im recommending it!!!!!!!!!!!! its =totally= brilliant. its like, almost making me feel normal again.

at least thats one les thing to worry about while you are deathly ill and losing your mind, and sometimes thats a really great thing…

i know that kris (a very awesome poster here) has been really down about her face problems and kris i want to tell you that all my other face problems are so much better.. i know that yours will improve too.. the muscle recruitment is the only facial injury that just doesnt seem to go away. everything else is healing, though its like watching paint dry in the worst way……. and im just wondering what has been others experience with this.

i saw other people writing about facial dents but its hard to find all the posts so i was hoping to start a new thread for it here. :}}

i also want to say something too, sometimes theres a bit of an attitude that problems with the face are 'not as bad' as our health issues.. or like 'well i realized that my health was the only important thing and i just dont care what i look like' well if thas your attitude, good for you… really.. but not everyone feels that way, and thats ok, and thats normal, and theres nothing wrong with that. some people -do- still care how they look, and facial abnormalitly can be a very socially isolating issue, and for some people, thats just a bigger deal that it is for others. so please, anyone who wants to say something like 'well i dont care how i look thats nothign compared to my health' jsut remember thats really not always the case with everyone. if you are ok with your face being messed up thats great, but not everybody is ok. we have to be sick as hell AND look like freaks…. so, its really, really not that great to have facial deformities too, on top of everything else we have to deal with. just wanted to mention that, and for some people, its really a big problem socially and mentally.

theres also something ive found recently called 'neuromuscular retraining' this is for people who had facial paralysis from bell's palsy. when this happenes there is often muscle recruitment and crossed nerves when things recover, and theres is a very new body of therapy that deals with this, retrianing your muscles and nerves to move correctly after paralysis, as well as retraining muscles that have learned to move incorrectly, to move correctly again… also, theres is a lot of good information about healing from facial paralysis on bells palsy sites, where its been well studied and is well known about, as opposed to botox injury, which nobody knows anything about…. so i have been using some of htese techniques and feel they are very applicable to this injury. this can be learned about on bell's palsy sites but its a very new science. but, this is yet another avenue for helping us heal from all this.

ok dent people, please identify yourselves.. i want to hear what your experience has been :}} and we can compare notes. thanks you so much everyone.. i can say totally things are so so much better than this time last year. even my face is so so so much better. so, that much, is good news.. hope to hear form other face club members, the club nobody wants to be part of… :}}} and i REALLY want to recommend this dermaflage oh my god i love it…. take care..

theraputic dysport

Is there a difference in therapeutic dysport/botox to that used for medical reasons.

Been reading stories of poor children seriously ill from treatment for there illnesses and says there is a difference between therapeutic abd medical strengths that therapeutic is not as strong as medical doses. And I wonder if we have been given the medical one that’s why we are so ill?

Now I want to know lots of things about Botox.

Can anyone here answer these questions? I can’t seem to get a clear answer from the internet.

Does the botox neurotoxin stay in the body, or is it cleared by the immune system?

Why is botox poisoning not dose-dependent?

From recent literature, it doesn’t seem like botox is ever safe, because the toxin does seem to travel “from the injection site” nearly always, and people are just not particularly noticing that they’ve been poisoned. Would anyone here agree?

If botox stays in the body indefinitely then is everyone who has been injected always at risk for a relapse or adverse event at any time in the future?

When I got my first injection a couple of years ago, I had only heard the stuff about how botox was VERY SAFE and there might be a “headache or flulike symptoms” or “migration from the injection site” which certainly communicates to me that botox could only migrate to the wrong part of my face or something, not my brain or spinal cord. Within the last couple of years something HAS changed in the literature and now one of the listed “side-effects” is a “botulism-like syndrome.” Has botox changed or have we?

The day I got my injections, I probably took aspirin and some vitamins, probably a ppi and I was prescribed a calcium channel blocker that I listed clearly on the intake form. I was never told by anyone that these might increase the risk of adverse events and I just would not have done it if I knew. But what I want to know is WHY these things increase the risk.

I am trying to figure out how screwed I am frankly. If I am going to be basically disabled from now on for example.

 

 

Couple More Ideas

RED LIGHT:

 

Because I thought I had brain cancer or Parkinsons at one point, I bought a red lamp to sleep under at night. Red light is supposed to be the “cellular reset” for nerve and organ damage, and it’s been shown to increase recovery time in injured animals, especially those with brain, nerve or organ damage. I am not sure if it helped but it made me feel better at one point to know I was “resetting.” Sunlight on the back of the neck works the same way.

 

CRANIOSACRAL THERAPY:

Is currently saving my life. Cranio Sacral therapy is considered Quack Medicine by some, but it also elicits theta and beta brain waves and offers a state of relaxation way way beyond massage. Every time I leave a session it feels like I’ve been holding up a huge boulder ( I have: my HEAD) and I can finally, *finally* let go and rest. The therapist literally cradles your head in her hands like a bowling ball and *very* gently restores range of motion to *all* those little nerves and tendons under your skull. I would spend my last dollar on it.

3 Tiny Needle Pricks Unleashed a Nightmare

So glad to have found this site. And so sorry to hear of so much suffering this awful stuff has caused.

My story:

I made an appt with a med spa on 1/7, just wanted to get a small amount of restalyne to plump up a scar (and the rest goes into the smile lines). Have tolerated this for years, no problems at all. That was what I asked for. The RN insisted that what I really needed was  Botox, to relax my chin and lift my eyes. I told her I was scared of it, and concerned. I was leaving for a trip in two days, and didn’t like the idea of Botox anyway. She brushed off my concerns, saying that she treats hundreds of people and they tolerate it just fine. She did not tell me 1. that it takes up to 2 weeks to see the full impact of what it does to you; or 2. Not to touch the injection site – only to stay upright for 4 hours. She made it sound like the Botox kicking in would be a subtle, hardly noticeable process. She also gave me hardly a minute to read the medical release.

First, I feel like suggesting Botox to someone going out of town on important business in two days is stupid just from an aesthetic point of view – ptosis and the like. But it is even stupider to push it on someone not knowing them at all, or with any idea of how it might impact them medically. I totally own up to the fact that I bear part of the blame here, and did not push back harder. (God, how I have rued that the past six days – if only I could go back in time).

After I left I felt panicky, anxiety-ridden. And that was before I could even feel the muscles being affected. I could hardly keep food down and was hit with terrible insomnia, barely sleeping one hour and then waking up, all night long. The next day I was too nauseated to eat. I slept a bit on the plane, and that is when the stuff started to kick in. I noticed I couldn’t move my chin, and I watched as the muscles started to droop. (Which made my scar look 10 times worse, by the way, though at this point I’m way more worried about my health.) The anxiety has continued and makes me feel like I am in the midst of a slowly unfolding waking nightmare. I feel sick on an existential level almost constantly. I have gone out to do what I need to do but mostly feel like just hiding in my hotel room.

I’ve continued to have insomnia, though it has gotten a bit better over the last day or so. What has been much scarier is that I have periodic muscle weakness in my face – under my eyes and in my cheeks, even my top lip. Today I woke up with blurry vision and a bit of eye pain (which of course could be dry eyes, which I know is a side effect too). I called the med spa yesterday; they said they’d have the RN call back. Nothing. Called again today; the woman who answered the phone promised they would call back in 10 minutes. Nothing. Big surprise, right?  I’m terrified because I’m only on day 6; what’s going to happen next? I’ve read that you can have all kinds of weird things happen up through Day 14, though from reading other folks’ accounts it’s just completely unpredictable and can continue for months. Right now my biggest fear is getting on a plane next Sunday and having some kind of medical emergency (that will be Day 10, which seems to be a significant milestone with Botox as well).

This site has been a godsend, because the RN will not call me back. I’m absolutely terrified right now, but it has helped to read other people’s stories and realize it WILL get better (even if it gets worse first, though I hope not). My story is very mild compared to a lot of folks, at least right now (Lord help me, I hope it doesn’t get worse, but I’m bracing myself for whatever at this point). Gut level I was afraid of Botox and was right to be – I wish I had listened, and acted on, my intuition last week. This has been one of the most psychologically awful experiences of my life. I am so angry right now – at myself, but also at this RN who just sort of pushed this stuff at me in what I feel was a pretty irresponsible manner. She used to do pediatric medicine, and now she is peddling poison. I know a lot of doctors and nurses are getting into the plastic surgery game because it is so lucrative; and for all I know she had a quota to meet and saw the potential to meet it with me. But what about the Hippocratic oath – Do No Harm?? If doctors and surgeons really followed that credo they would NEVER use botox on patients except in cases where the benefit outweighs the risk. To just stick it in someone’s face as blithely as you would deliver a massage or a facial is just unethical. I feel like at the very least, a patient should be given more than 5 minutes to read the medical release and really consider whether or not they want to do something like this.

So far what has helped me the most for the anxiety: Rescue Remedy pastilles by Bach Flower Therapies. There is a little bit of sweetener in it (though this might be preferable to the drops, which are put in brandy). I also picked up a box of Bach Rescue Sleep, but haven’t tried it yet. Have been observing the recommendations of others here, including avoiding caffeine and alcohol, keeping hydrated and eating healthy whole foods at intervals throughout the day. And trying not to stress. Though it’s hard. The facial weakness seems better during the day, and then gets worse at night. I don’t know why that would be, but that is the case. It scares the heck out of me, and it’s extremely uncomfortable. Has anyone else had a symptom like this? I can’t find anyone talking about it but I did see it mentioned in the Botox insert literature  – which of course I looked up so when the RN told me that I was imagining things I could quote it back to her…as I mentioned, she hasn’t deigned to call me back yet. I will probably try to make an appt with my dermatologist as soon as I am home – she actually is a Botox expert, but uses it mostly to treat excessive sweating. But she knows a lot about Botox, and I trust her ethics and her judgement. Honestly I think a lot of Med Spas are kind of on the ethically shady side of the fence – at least this one seems to be.

Botox gave me Extreme Body Odor for 11 years

Think your life sucks? you have no idea how bad life can get.

In ’04 I got botox on my armpits….i always sweat alot my entire life and even though i rarely smelled, the sweating was always uncomfortable. I would wear 2 tshirts to hide my sweat stains but the sweat was so strong it could go through numerous shirts. I always hated being the guy at social gatherings with huge sweat stains like i just ran a marathon…that was just how my body was..

so in ’04 i got botox because i researched that it was a temporary fix to my problems. I was told It was supposed to last 6 months at the most, and my sweating would return to normal. Unfortunately thats not what happened. I went to a very reputable doctor, and he did what i asked of him, nothing out of the ordinary, and nothing weird about his work, I don’t think.

It took about a month before my sweat glands were totally destroyed. And when they were gone, the smell came. It was a horrible B.O. smell that never went away. Even five minutes after a shower i would stink like armpit odor. Whenever i would walk down the street, people would cough, sneeze and give me horrible looks. People would talk alot of smack at how much i stink and i must be a loser. No deodorant has ever made the situation better either. As 6 months, 1 year, 2 years etc went by i realized that my nerves on my armpit had been permanently destroyed and the sweat wasn’t coming back.

Dermatologists and other doctors I went to had no idea what to do. One doctor theorized that all my sweat had washed away the smelly bacteria, and once there was no sweat, there was only smelly bacteria left. How I was originally made, a sweating master was how i was supposed to be. and when i fucked it up with botox, ive now become a smelly monster. Oh how i wish i could go back to being the sweat king! so fucking ironic right! I wish everyday to go back to being a sweaty monster, so i don’t have to have this smelly nightmare.

but its not going to happen.

Ive spent the last 11 years from job to job, career to career. I don’t have any friends, avoid all social contact whatsoever, and rarely go out. As ive had other health problems in the past few years, stomach problems for example, the smell has gotten worse. Ive tried pills, creams, everything i can find on the internet, but nothing really has fixed the problem. Its a lonely lonely life i lead. I have a girlfriend who has been with me for so long, and tries to motivate me to do more, but the paranoia and fear totally destroy my day to day life. I really appreciate how shes been there for me. When you go through any type of suffering, and people are by your side, you have a new appreciation of who they are. I love her and i wish so i could give her the life she deserves.

Unless someone comes up with a cure for stopping BO i dont see this problem being fixed any time soon. Believe me a scientist who could absolutely cure BO with a machine or cream would get rich as there are many people that would pay for this including me. BO doesn’t serve a purpose…fuck the pheremone argument…its totally worthless and i wish i could get rid of it

But as for me….i think suicide is on the horizon. i dont want to think about it but i really don’t see any future like this unless it just totally goes away.

So i ask you again, you think your life fucking sucks? imagine being me

Thanks for reading. Wishing you all the best

Helpful So Far

I’ve taken ALL KINDS of supplements to try to kick my body into gear but these are the ones that seem to be the smartest and most helpful so far:

Vitamin B3 ( Niacinamide) Lots and lots and lots — it’s been shown to regrow nerve cells specifically in rats. All B vitamins are good for certain things but B3 and B6 specifically for nerve and organ damage.

Progesterone: Keeps the body stable under stress.

Pregnenolone: Also keeps the body stable under stress.

Nigella Sativa: modulates nitric oxide formation and protects from shock. It is a thousand year old remedy and has no side effects. It is always listed as “anti-cholinergic” but I don’t think it’s been adding to anticholinergic toxicity at least in my case.  It will also bring down blood pressure.

Aspirin: For inflammation. Aspirin is a much better choice than any pain reliever because it is immunomodulating and specifically breaks up the mechanism that forms scar tissue. Since the neurotoxins effects will probably bring about scarring and thickening in soft tissue;aspirin can protect against that.

DIGESTIVE ENZYMES: I read about this as a cure for vertigo, since in natural health circles people believe that the reason for vertigo is an inability to digest protein. It works supremely well for vertigo and I eat these chewable things by the handful but it’s also occurred to me that botox IS a protein and protease might sop some of it up. In the meantime, I have no idea if I have a digestive system at all since the toxin could have shut down some part of my system, so it also helps just to break down and use the nutrition you are ingesting.

MAGNESIUM: Really,really helping with the shocks, twitches and tremors. I use a big handful of magenesium oil on my skin and it usually stops all the sparks within at least an hour.

I am also taking doxycycline because at one point I thought I had Lyme Disease. Antibiotics will not kill the “bug” of botox because there is no bug, just the toxin. However antibiotics have really helped me for some reason ( not totally better, but clearer in the head) so I think maybe there might be some infection going on with me  too — probably because my entire internal system is sluggish and my lymphatic system is completely buried in bad debris. I figure if you are feeling really badly it’s not an unsafe thing to try.

Anyone else?

Is this going to get worse?

I’m really concerned from reading here that more bad things are going to happen. Sept 28 was my last injection and I think I started reacting right away but didn’t notice anything *really* wrong until about six weeks later. I’ve been sick all through this but at the moment I am pretty much disabled. Can’t work, can’t think, can’t sit for long periods or focus on a computer screen. I am not employed at the moment and have pretty much zero ability to do much of anything by myself.

Symptoms now are essentially disabling vertigo, blurred vision, a sort of functional ataxia, racing heart, paresthesia, edema, and there is this other thing, I wake up in the morning with a bright red face, dripping sweat. I can’t really talk to anyone because it makes me dizzy to have conversations — hard to explain but it’s like my brain can’t manage all the things it has to do, create sentences in my head and then communicate them while staying stable in space. Can’t drive.

I am reading some really concerning accounts of people who are not really better after several years or possibly ever, and more symptoms keep showing up. Is that typical? Do most people improve?