Waiting for MOUSE TEST RESULTS whilst my body changes :(

Hello everybody. Im new to this site, after almost two months of reading &  trying to sort my body out now I guess im ready to speak…

So im 32, im very healthy. I go gym, walking, I don’t smoke or drink and I am long gone a party girl. My weekends are spent at work, I work in the entertainment business – so TV extras, modelling, promo, and I have just started a business as a mermaid where you can hire me for your events such as big venue events or kids parties. I moved to London after travelling in Dec. I have a failry new boyfriend who lives in Hollywood – LA. Hes in the show-business side of work & my time is split between working and flying to see him as his job doesn’t allow him the freedom I have.

I was feeling very happy with how my life was panning out this year. After going through a tough time last year with my health and contracting a nerve disease that im dealing with more than I hopes I would. I figured a little pick me up with some wrinkle killer would help maintain my image – having a partner in Hollywood probably didn’t help, so I took the plunge June 8th.

I went to a dentistry called Ecculadent in Mill Hill. Saw a lady who talked me into having 3 areas not just the 2 I originally wanted. I had DYSPORT. Id previously had Botox twice before with no issues. Blundered into this newer – cheaper toxin and within 24hrs felt weird.

Day 1 My eyes went blurry first.
Then my vision changed – it was as though the floor was moving & I was drunk…without being drunk.
Then back of my head hurt – deep intense headache.

Day 2 my neck went stiff. I thought id slept wrong so didnt think much of it…just took pain killers.

Day 3, the pain and stiffness crept down throughout my back & my ears felt full/blocked – like I was on a plane and coulnt pop them. By now I as worried… I called the injector & was told there was no reports of this & it was unlikely to do with the Dysport.

My headaches were strong, my eyes were all over the place, I felt unsteady on my feet due to the visual disturbances I was seeing and then to top it off I got full all over body weakness.

On June 18th I was admitted to hospital
I couldn’t walk or see properly,  my ears had gone full and the pressure in my head was unbearable. I was shaking, my chest was tight and I was finding it hard to breath in proper breaths. They kept me in on a heart monitor.

The next day I noticed the white pillow was covered in hair – on closer inspection I reaslised it was eyebrow hair. When I touched them in the bathroom mirror, they were falling out at the touch of my finger.

I saw a few Dr’s. They were all different in opinion – one was adamant it was just anxiety nothing more and was very blunt with me. By now id researched that you could get Boulism from this & I requested a test & he told me there wasn’t a test for this disease. I just looked at him in disbelief. Then he told me even if I were to have it, the anti toxin is so exspensive they only give it to people who cant breath. So basically I was ok to just suffer the list of things I was experiencing and be hooked to a hospital bed for the night.  There was another Dr that tested my muscles by doing a crouching test. I failed as I couldn’t get back up by myself. My legs had stopped working. No strength. But he still refused to help me. So I stayed overnight by myself with no visitors as I don’t have an real friends in the city yet…

When I got home things steadied. I had to see my Doctor and he prescribed me anti anxiety and sleeping pills. I had now got insomnia – and when I tried to sleep, my eyes would roll round in my head by themselves. Did anybody else have this? I have had to go onto sleeping pills just so I can actually GET to sleep! Without them id be awake all night every night.

I was so unwell I had to cancel my trip to visit my BF. He was upset & didn’t take it so well. Our phone conversations dwindelled into depressing, negative & argumentative talk that sometimes wore me to the bone. He didn’t understand I honestly think and as much as hed contest it, he was tough on me & I didn’t think id see him again. They say men who hurt get angry – well I put up with anger ontop of all my symptoms for a month. It sucked from every angle. I had people telling me “You look fine” and “youre eating well” and “you don’t look sick” – it was like everybody thought I was just putting it on. It angers me to this day.

Anyway, I got that angry about it all I got my ass on a plane symptoms and all and flew to Poland to get the MOUSE TEST. It was hard work as I was ill, and I couldn’t speak their language but somehow I got by as I met a polish lady who just happened to have ‘Mermaid’ written on the front of her top – she came out of nowhere & asked me if I needed help. Because of this lady I got to the right place and got tested. I havnt had my results yet though… waiting is a killer. I only know of two other girls who got their tests… One is my friend who helped me on this quest. So to both of these girls –  thankyou.

Sine then I have to write about TRAINS – IF YOU USE TRAINS this may affect your muscles in your body. The pressure in the cabin changes due to the speed you go & tunnels make it worse. I went out of London on an hour train ride, to see a friend. straight away on the trip I felt like my chest and throat were closing up – I couldn’t breath, my ears went blocked and my eyes were going to burst out my head!! The next day all muscle weakness returned and I felt awful. Was bed bound for another 5 days afterwards. Then my face and arm went numb – This is something to think about. Pressure in trains made me bad. Does anybody else have this or know about it?

Also I wasn’t to ask if anybody has experienced any changes with other parts of the body? My question is about BREAST AUGMENTATION…
 it seems like they have both started to wrinkle. I know I cant get creasing/wrinkling of the actual implant as its a hard gel that doesn’t move/fold/crease. Its my body building scar tissue around the implant – BUT THIS HAS ONLY HAPPENED SINCE THE BOTOX! Im GUTTED!!! What on earth is that about? Theyre not new but now I can see it in the mirror when I don’t wear a bra. Its since my muscle weakness… ive had them 3 years without ANY issues and now without a bra they have changed and are showing ripples. I noticed this after a month after injections. :(  Did anybody else have this?

Alsi I should say I too have had a dent develop in my forehead. Its not noticeable in daylight and to random people but I see it even in the mirror. Its at its worse when im on camera. It breaks my heart bc I had this toxin put into my face thinking id make me look better for my job and my man… and now ive got all sorts of weird stuff happening.

Im intolerant to most foods so eating veg isn’t easy and I get by eating the same old stuff constantly. I have currently one month after injections gone from 9st 2lb to 8st 6lb. in 30  days. Im a size 8, 5’6.5 so look quite tiny already. I do take vitamins to try help and drink mounds of water. Im thirsty loads anyways…. which reminds me.

I hope that this message reaches out to others and can help in any way. I am plagued with the idea im going to develop more symptoms – but for now im glad to report I found the strength and courage to get to LA to see my man. My muscle weakness has gone & getting on a plane didn’t hurt my ears. I avoid trains & have refused to to to the theme park with him as my ears & eyes couldn’t deal with it… Im taking it easy. We managed to go on a bike ride along the beach last week and I was ok. I just pop pills for my headache and as always am on sleeping pills to force myself to get some rest. Anxiety is passing – I have only needed pills for the plane ride so far in a week ive not needed them. Im trying to remind myself each time I feel weird its just the toxin.

My heart is with anybody suffering from this toxin. And I prey we all get better and can learn from our mistakes. I think my symptoms aren’t as bad as some people on here – so I still sometimes consider myself lucky. My boyfriend keeps telling me im not sick and im getting better – making it to LA was ab ig step granted and im fighting with myself silently. He asks frequently what im thinking or if im ok and its whats occupying my thoughts. ALL THE TIME. My muscles moving in my head don’t allow for me to stop thinking about it much… But I do ask myself am I better?

Is what im experiencing “side effects” like my doctors and boyfriend say… or something more sinister? I don’t suppose anybody knows. Its just a waiting game.

I just want my body back to normal – expression lines and all. xx


Essential Oil Tips

This post is in response to some requests for more information on the essential oils. Please don’t panic and feel overwhelmed when you see the lists, just pick two or three oils and start trying them out.

Most of us have spent so much money trying to get well I can hear the groans when something like this gets posted. I would be the same way and don’t blame anyone for feeling that way. But from the bottom of my heart I so want anyone who has been leveled by this wicked stuff to not only get some relief but start living life again.

ESSENTIAL OILS* for…                                                                                                                                             Nerve and Muscle Pain Relievers
Cistus – When followed by peppermint or wintergreen it seems to boost effectiveness for nerve pain, and all by itself is one of the best oils for that type of pain. It takes very little.
Helichrysum – A favorite of mine, it’s an amazing pain reliever, for both muscle and nerve pain.
Lavender – An all time favorite for relaxation and pain relief.  These are all great oils…
Clary Sage, Thyme, Roman Chamomile, Frankincense, Geranium, Spruce, Pine, Clove, Lemon, Vetiver, Balsam Fir, Palo Santo, Marjoram, sweet (marjoram also works as a sedative). It’s what I use every night with lavender and vetiver no matter what else I might need.
**Eucalyptus – Use in small quantities; a couple drops mixed with carrier oil directly on pain area along with a drop or two “neat” on bottom of feet. Not recommended for daily use, a couple times a week for chronic pain is all I would personally use.
**Wintergreen – This is the one that first wowed me when I started using oils. I received immediate pain relief. It is an analgesic and an anodyne which means it can eliminate pain and reduce tension. However, it is an oil that needs to be used with caution. It really shouldn’t be used in a diffuser because of the Menthyl Salicylate and never used by anyone who is hyper-reactive to salicylates. For application use it like eucalyptus, but during a bad peripheral nerve flare up I will use it a few days in a row with no problem. I just don’t pour it on like I did in the beginning.
**Peppermint – one of the most popular oils out there that can be used for pain relief as well as a host of other things, but another one to use with caution. If you have an uncomfortable reaction, which I can honestly say that I have not had to any of the oils except for the rash, itching and swelling symptoms from overuse, it may be that it is another oil with menthol and might potentially cause someone who has been poisoned by a neurotoxic substance to have a reaction. Peppermint is effective against an astounding number of pathogenic organisms, including MRSA.

Nerve pain formula (# = drops)
15 Geranium
10 Helichrysum
10 Wintergreen
8 Marjoram
6 Cypress
5 Peppermint
2 Clove
2 Lemon

Mix with about 100 drops career oil and apply 4-5 drops of blended formula on inflamed area. For all over relief put drops on bottom of feet, on rub on from base of neck along spine down to small of back. There are charts that show nerve connections on our hands and feet to places all over our bodies.

Germ Fighting Formula
Cinnamon bark

Oils for Anxiety (use any one or any combination of these)
Ylang Ylang
Clary Sage
Roman chamomile

My all time favorites are lavender, vetiver, bergamot, Ylang Ylang, patchouli and clary sage. I also love all things citrus. Orange is a wonderful oil for equalizing moods.

For stress relief mix equal amounts of the oils listed below with a 2 x’s the carrier oil, rub together in hands clockwise, lay on your abdomen and at base of throat and slowly breathe in and out three times. With the index finger and middle finger tap over thymus area twice. I don’t know how – something to do with the electric current in our bodies – but it has an immediate calming affect on me.
Ylang Ylang
Blue Tansey

*Essential Oils have provided multiple health benefits for countless people around the globe, but they should be respected like any other potent compound, which is exactly what they are. I know some who do, but I would not personally ingest any of them, even the citrus oils. Our livers have already taken a beating and it’s not worth that kind of risk.
**Use extra caution with these oils as well as Blue Tansey. It’s another really good oil, but needs to be used carefully.

Reference Guides (can be purchased on Amazon)

Medical Aromatherapy Healing with Essential Oils by Kurt Schnaubelt. Excellent guide. Check Kurt’s book out here.

The first one I purchased was Reference Guide for Essential Oils by Connie & Alan Higley and I use it constantly It is a great reference book, but slanted toward a company I won’t endorse. Their recommendations for treatments with oils are very good though.
Click here for full edition   or…..  here for condensed quick guide.

Also, another very informative book is one by Dr. Cass Ingram, The Cure is in The Cupboard. It is all about oregano oil, an unbelievably powerful oil with which I am just now becoming familiar. Click here for the scoop on oregano.

The oil company I recommend above any others I’ve tried is here. Appalachian Valley Natural Products.  If you’re not seeing the bulk pricing after clicking the drop down menu under the oil name, you can either register and see if that works, or just send them an email and ask because the bulk prices are available to everyone whether registered or not.

Again, not one little thing in it for me by recommending them. The best part of finding something amazing or discovering something that is of tremendous personal benefit is telling others about it. I will only recommend what I’ve used, what works for me at this level, only after significant research, which I did with about a dozen companies. I honestly do not believe anyone can beat their oil quality, prices or customer service. One thing I’ve found without exception is that unless a company is running a promotion or having a legitimate sale, if an oil is very inexpensive compared to the majority of reputable companies out there, it’s because it’s an inferior oil. Having said that, I was skeptical when I saw some of AV prices because they were so much less than a company I had been using and considered staying with. Not only did their prices blow the other company out of the competition, the oil quality did too.

Generally speaking, our bodies probably respond better to the oils when we switch them up. I do use the three I mentioned everyday, and have for about a year. They still work and have caused no problems, but they are among the more mild oils. Like anything else, we are all different so different oils will work differently on different people. That’s why I listed quite a few oils. There are dozens more.

I am not familiar with WordPress, and Word is not that compatible with it. I need to get some formatting things figure out. After typing it out in Word I spent quite a while trying to get this to look halfway decent, and not sure I succeeded!

Eye Issues/Nerve Pain – is this Botox related?

Hi everyone, I’m new to this site and am so grateful to find I’m not alone. I’m just wondering if my issues sound Botox related? I’ve had all the testing done (Opthsmologists, neurologist, rheumatologists, CT scan, MRI etc) & no one can figure out what’s going on – most attribute to anxiety (which I certainly know is not the case!).

ive had joint/nerve pain for past 6 months (buzzing between my elbows to hands/fingers and knees to gets/toes).  But after my last injections (in late March 2015), I’ve had eye problems. It started with pain behind my left eye, then became strained when focusing (eg, reading/using computer) and strain would lead to slight blurriness. Then I contracted conjunctivitis, then my cornea scarred up, healed, but then I had blurry vision, pupil would dilate (and pupil spasm) and double vision.  I’ve also had eye test which shows my vision has changed in just a few months.

I’m absolutely terrified because I can’t work and am in constant pain with eye and body (with occasional moments of relief). I can’t use computer (I’m only using one eye to type this on my phone). I don’t have family or partner to help and my friends just don’t understand. I’ve been referred to neuro – opthamologist, but that could be months off.

I eat paleo, no sugar, no caffine, no alcohol etc…but doesn’t show any improvement with symptoms.

I also have terrible insomnia, and get bouts of extreme anxiety, and severe depression when I wake up.

This site has offered me the only bit of hope I’ve had so far. Do my symptoms sound Botox related? And does anyone have any similar experience or have advice or help? I’m desperate 😔



New Facebook Group

…. And where is the other one? I was looking for the Facebook group someone in this group started a couple of years ago…? Dysport Sufferers, I believe. I could not find that one but found this one –


It would be difficult for me to believe that that is the only group.  I don’t understand why there have been no YouTube videos or an onslaught of FB groups unless it’s for what I mentioned earlier, that we’ve been too ill to deal with it. The only video I found was on someone doing injections illegally, which we all know has nothing to do with why people become sick.

I have recently been considering doing a vlog for Botox victims, has anyone else thought of that?  Has anyone on here skyped and discussed possibilities for getting the attention of the media? It blows me away that this isn’t all over the news. 

Higher dosage of botox (Dysport)

Hello everyone,
I’m new here and this is my first post. Now, my diagnose is paraplegia spastica, it’s spasticity in leg muscles, witch is causing problems with walking ( spasticity is reducing my control over my muscles);muscles are weakened, but not entirely. I received botox (actually Dysport) in gastrocnemius (2×75),adductor longus (150) and tibialis posterior (150). That was three months ago;I had a little headache that day. Soon I need to go to receive another dose (29.july),and I want to seek a higher dose (because spasticity is in all muscles of legs). I read that usual dose is around 1000 units and that maximum dose is 1500 units (at dose above that, poisoning is possible). What are you thinking about this? Has anyone been is similar situation?

2 year + update

Hi everyone.

First of all I’d like to say I’m sorry I haven’t been on this site much recently. I still think about the people I have met and talked to on here all the time, and wonder how you are doing.

I’d like to share my improvement to give hope to those who are in that dark tunnel. I was severely incapacitated – couldn’t use my body even for daily tasks, in severe pain for months and months, many episodes of being unable to walk or do basic things. I’m sure you can find more details in my past comments. I looked and felt like I had been poisoned and my body was dying. It’s been more than 2 years now – its been so long I am starting to lose track of when it started as my whole life has just been overtaken by sickness.

Onto the good news – Currently my pain levels are way down, symptoms less and less severe, and when things happen recovery time is shorter and they are generally less intense.

I’m doing something I wasn’t sure I could do again – working full time. I do 50 hour weeks so all my time and energy is spent working, and the little time I have left is trying to rest. I definitely wish I could focus more on my health like I did before, but after not working for so long and spending so much on trying to get better, I am just grateful to be able to work, and to have someone willing to employ me. I haven’t been able to enjoy the improvements in my health because I have no time to do things for myself, and I do worry that I may need to stop working to recover more. I worry about how long I can last doing this before something has to give, but as much as I need a rest, I don’t want to go back to where I was before, unable to do most things.

Acupuncture definitely helped me. I waited to go until I felt my body was less reactive. If I had gone when I was at my worst I feel like it would have made things worse. I took Chinese herbs too, which had a detox effect. I stopped after a certain point, probably 6 months of treatment, due to the expense, but I would go back for maintenance. With acupuncture I didn’t get a reduction in specific symptoms, but my health improved overall – I wanted it to help normalize and regulate my nervous system, which I think it did somewhat.

I learned about burbur on here and that really helped my herxing. I also tried sodium alginate which is supposed to help absorb poisons in the gut – I took it for several months without knowing if it did anything, and I still don’t know if it really does this, but it did seem to help me with preventing muscle weakness. When I stopped taking it my muscle weakness and inflammation increased. AHCC – this is a mushroom used to help cancer patients through chemo. While this hasn’t removed any of my symptoms, it gives me energy and without it I would be much more tired.

I’ve tried many other things but those are my mainstays.

Where I’m at now:

I’ve gotten used to looking like someone punched me in the eyes – I never had dark circles before, but since being sick they are part of my face. I also look much older, have deep wrinkles on my forehead and some muscle recruitment in between my eyebrows. my eye is droopy because that side of my face seems to have dropped slightly. Some days all of this looks less bad than others – I just wish I knew what it was that helped it look better and what makes it look worse!

I feel anxiety and stress I never felt before and in general I feel like a different person. I don’t want to have all the limitations this person has, and find it hard sometimes to see how narrow my life has become and how much I have lost.

Various autoimmune symptoms and hypersensitivity. My food allergies started about a year and a half in and have gotten worse each month. I currently can’t eat most things – I know there are people on here who have survived on just sweet potatoes, and I’m in a similar stage. If anyone has any remedies for the severe food allergies or knows how to start the process of reversing it, please let me know. I’ve tried ACV liquid and pill form, enzymes, probiotics, etc but haven’t had any luck. Has anyone tried acupuncture for this?

Teeth problems – sensitivity, cavities, you name it. I never had tooth problems before, but being in bad health must have caused them plus drinking apple cider vinegar and vitamin c powder in water (separately, at separate times) has eroded my enamel.

Muscle loss – everything dissolved long ago, still working on improving strength.

It took a long time for me to be this improved, and I’m still on the road to recovery. Don’t be discouraged that I still have symptoms – most are manageable and there is no denying my quality of life has improved. There are days where I have started to feel like a normal person. It’s strange and amazing to glimpse what I used to be, and feel normal even just for a moment. It’s incredible to not be in constant pain, and I do my best to manage my symptoms even if that means I have no life (lol).

I’ve thought about making this post for a long time, and I’m glad I have done it. I try to limit my typing because I still have issues with the nerves and muscles in my fingers, hands and arms. I can’t promise I will come here often just because I have so little time (I really would like to change this without being unemployed), but I do want to be of help to others and learn from you as well. I don’t know how I’ve lived through everything up until this point, but we can all survive. We may never be perfect, but we have to believe we will improve.

Does anyone else have manic phases with insomnia followed by very low phases? Thyroid function test is crucial.

Hi All

I am now in week 5 post botox and  I have noticed it has a particular  cyclic effect on my brain . I go through phases of feeling very wired where my body speeds up  and I feel like I have taken too much of my  thyroid medication. I am constantly hungry, my mind is racing, I am shaky , my throat feels slightly swollen, my eyes feel dry and focus is blurry. The toxin is obviously affecting thyroid function and speeds up everything. If I take ANY of my prescribed thyroid meds  (NDT)during this time I basically go into orbit and all these symptoms treble in severity. I am completely unable to sleep at night but I take 2 sleep aid(restavit)  pills (doxycyclene)  which is over the counter in lost of countries and prescription in others. This makes my body relax completely and I spend most of the night experiencing creative thoughts which border onto hallucinations . I also take one 250mg sceletium which is a South African herb and that helps  calm  and restore neurotransmitter function.

This phase lasts for about 4 to 7 days. After that everything changes and I become very tired and sleepy and depressed. I lose my appetite and everything becomes an effort, This is a horrible phase as although I can sleep the world is a dull grey place .  I beleive this is caused by the thyroid shutting down temporarily.

After having read a lot about stuff like bipolar disorder I think the botox induces a bipolar type cycle in my brain. Latest reseach says that a lot of bipolar issues are caused by faulty thyroid function.

Before I had my first botox injections 10 years ago I had no mental health  or thyroid issues whatsoever so the botox has created this and when the botox wears off this goes away completely and I function more of less  like normal. It has taken me 10 years of botox to understand that this is the cause of my issues and although I am only 5 weeks in since my last shots I now know that this will all go away like it has all those times before .

I think for all of you with lingering symptoms similar to mine maybe a thyroid function test is a good route to explore . ,The normal  TSH  test doctors give will NOT help much as your tsh can be fine but your T3 levels can be completely out of kilter,  A  full thyroid panel measuring your t3 and t4 function would be relevent. I beleive the botox  disrupts the t3 and that makes you hyper and causes insomnia, if you feel tired all the time your body may not be converting the t3 into t4 and that can be easily managed with t3 meds.  How it workds is that ones body converts t4 into t3 and that makes usable thyroxine available for bodily fuction , if this gets disrupted you will either becoe hyperthyroid ( go to fast, not sleep etc) or hypo which is the opoosite. Please google the symptoms for both. You would have to find a doctor who is in favour of bio identical hormones to go down this route as thyroxine the common medication would not do a thing to help the conversion of t3 into t4, a selnium supplement might help a little but natural dessicated thyroid  derived from animal thyroid would be the ideal fix. I only started having thyroid issues after I started on Botox so I believe its a biggy and hopefully can help point others in the right direction

Finally Real Hope

Hi all,

It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted on here. Most of you effected by Botox understand the frustrating roller coaster ride of extremes. I have not wanted to provide false hope during one of those relatively symptom free periods, and I don’t like sharing unless I have something encouraging. Today symptoms are about average, no burst in energy or dramatic decrease in pain, so it’s as real as it gets. I have something I believe can give encouragement. Here’s the story…     Injections: April 2011 at Medical Spa. Was supposed to have 4-6 units between brows, received about 36 units in forehead.   Phase One Symptoms: Morning after the following 4 months housebound with hardcore flulike symptoms, severe nausea, body aches, anxiety, brain-fog, difficulty breathing, unreal insomnia, and indescribable abyss. I’d not been warned of any symptoms. The first round of symptoms began to wane which is when I believed I was starting to get back to feeling normal. So wrong. Six weeks later the real pain started.  Phase Two (Permanent) Symptoms: Developed peripheral nerve pain, fibromyalgia type pain and moderate to advanced nerve damage in my right arm, hand and two right fingers; lost the ability to track time, a difficult to explain but very real and very frustrating phenomenon; developed sleep apnea (diagnosed in sleep clinic), hard to fathom in someone who was a long distance runner; anxiety, another rarely experienced symptom became frequent; short term memory loss; frequent nausea and intolerance to foods; constant fatigue only somewhat managed with a very limited schedule and stress, which in today’s world is next to impossible; sitting for very long periods is excruciating; teeth and gums started developing all kinds of problems, very unusual for me; and unable to do more than one thing at a time without getting completely lost – a huge change from life immediately before Botox as an HR professional.  Diagnosis: Specialists ordered 12 medical tests over several months, most of them invasive, a couple very risky, and all of them costly. Most diseases and neurological problems known to man, including autoimmune disease, were ruled out. I personally still wasn’t connecting the Botox in the second phase of symptoms because of the break of time with relatively few symptoms I experienced between phase 1 & 2. Not until an angel on a forum pointed out that she believed my symptoms were Botox-related and then connected me with someone who could help did I begin to understand what had happened. Fortunately my physician, neurosurgeon and neurologist now believe it is botulism from Botox. Unfortunately, there is not a single thing they can do about it, which they readily admit, so it was up to me to figure out how to manage.  Life AB Coping Tools: Apple Cider Vinegar with baking soda – diminishes brain fog and substantially decreases nausea. I drink 1- 3 big glasses of water a day with 2-3 tsp ACV. It has helped with food intolerances, general digestive issues and nausea. Along with ACV I have used acupuncture. Most of the time acupuncture helps a lot with the peripheral nerve pain for up to 3-day stretches of time. Anything that brings the pain down to a moderate level after the continuous pain Dr. Helton described as having your skin ripped off and alcohol poured over it (very accurate description I might add), is like a little slice of heaven. It can be expensive, but definitely worth trying. I still get it as often a I can. Other helpful tools – chiropractic, eliminated sugar, green veggie smoothies, foot reflexology, routine sleep, cranial massage, herbal teas, yoga and walking all help. I cannot stress enough that consistency is key in all of those things. But by far the number one help I have received is through ESSENTIAL OILS.

Before I say one more word, it’s imperative that you know I do not, nor have I ever sold essential oils. I am not involved with anyone who is, nor am I or ever have been affiliated with anyone who does. I don’t receive any kickbacks for mentioning oil companies, and I could not in good conscientiousness share in places like this if I did. I’ve been desperate to get well and to have back at least a percentage of the quality of life I once enjoyed.  I want to share what has helped me and when I found out the company I use is having a sale tomorrow (Friday, July 24th) it motivated me to get off my rear.

I did my own oil-to-oil research and comparison study, read countless articles and books and began digging into the integrity of the oil companies. I was looking for one with the best overall quality oils, the friendliest and most efficient customer service and the one that offered the most competitive pricing. Then one day while I was researching cold air diffusers I stumbled onto a blog of an intriguing woman, a scientist who had done research at John Hopkins. She recommended an essential oil company unfamiliar to me, Appalachian Valley Natural Products. Given her credentials, and someone in a profession who usually would not publicly recommend alternative helps, I thought I had to check the place out. What I found ended up being a godsend.  Currently I use them exclusively, except for a few oils I still had on hand from the trial.  It is by far the best in every category I was researching and rating. I was immediately drawn by their down-to-earth style and helpful website. Their customer service is platinum standard. They have bulk oils and offer international shipping. However, as excited as I am about the oil company, which is a big deal because of how many I tried, it is secondary to what the actual oils have done for me. After Essential Oils: This is not easy for me to put into writing after so many peaks and valleys, but after months of using the oils and consistent improvement, I am actually getting better. Some of the symptoms are becoming less frequent, decreasing in severity and some have stopped and/or reversed. The sleep apnea has stopped, a fairly big deal for us. I didn’t snore, but stopped breathing and would sputter awake or bolt upright in bed gasping for air. I am sleeping through the night more often; get relief from pain that prescription pills or anything else won’t touch; have considerably decreased anxiety and an increase in my general sense of wellbeing. Today I am better than I have been and have real hope that I will continue to get better for the first time since the neurosurgeon used the words “lifelong and permanent”.  If you choose to check out Appalachian Valley you can find them here.  Like I said, I believe they are having a sale tomorrow, the 24th. There is a description of each oil as well as how they’ve shown to be most beneficial.  I hope you at least try essential oils at some reputable company. There are many EO reference guides  available on Amazon and multiple articles online.  For pain I have had success with wintergreen, marjoram, pine, helichrysum, lavender, peppermint, spruce and geranium to name a few. For anxiety I have used lavender, ylang, ylang, bergamot, hyssop, and roman chamomile. Thyme, vetiver, marjoram and lavender helped me start sleeping normally. There are so many options, and different oils might work better on different people.

I am no doctor, but my own physician told me to do whatever it is that I have been doing. Recently he said he was very proud of me for not giving up and very interested in what I’d done to get better, because he said, and I quote, “people who have been as far down the path you’ve been on do not typically find their way back to a quality life.” My husband says he’s getting back the woman he fell in love with. I’ve been able to do things I have tabled for two years, and my gums started improving dramatically, enough for my dentist to ask what products I used a couple of visits ago. We’ve benefitted in countless ways by using oils. I have a long way to go, but two steps forward one back, I am making solid progress. This is my personal experience, for you to do with what you want. It’s been so disheartening for me to read the stories on here, often depressing me so much I couldn’t get on the site for long stretches of time. I am only sharing now because I have given the oils almost a year’s worth of time, and by far they have proven the most effective for my own recovery. Thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy post. I am look forward to the day Botox is exposed for what it is. I appreciate you all so much, especially the women who had the foresight to start this support community.


Hi everybody

It’s now 11 months after my Botox-injections and  I can finally get out of bed most of the time and do housework. I still have blurred eyevision and headaces a feel dizzy now and then – but not as bad anymore (still though I cant get back to work: a little pressure/stress and my headaces and dizzyness starts again). – And there is something else: now I think my left eye has started to squint a bit – there is also a pressure behind my eyes – I can feel it all the time. I would like to ask if anybody else started to squint after Botox? – And will the eye get back to normal position later? This actually makes me sad, though I’m happy I fell better – after all. Kind regards Mothertotwo :-)

Panic Attacks


What you’ve experienced sounds terrible. I, also, have been suffering from injections, but from two: Botox and Xiamen (not at the same time) .  My suffering has mostly been panic attacks, depersonalization, derealization, dry mouth and trouble swallowing. My doctors assured me that Botox doesn’t cause the first 3 symptoms, which plagued me the most. So after the Botox product wore off (this was the first time I tried Botox) I decided use Xiamen.  My doctor and I decided  to use a 1/3 of the dose that I had previously with Botox. Also, Xiamen is a different product, but includes the same botulism toxin A; My doctors said it’s less allergenic.
Big mistake!! Panic attacks came back full force and i felt high for weeks (out of body: depersonalization) !!!!  I am, now, 2 1/2 months into this and am feeling better, but still am taking xanax.  I spoke with an attorney and he said that proving these symptoms are linked to Botox is tough. Also, since I tried 2 different products means that the suit would be against two different Corps.  Turns out, the attorney didn’t take the case.  Maybe if we all ban together we can help to create an exposure of this suffering which could result in preventative ways to safeguard people considering these products.  After all, this product stays with you for up to six months! If I had known that panic attacks were a potential side effect, I would have never tried the Xiamen after the horrific experience with Botox. Ugh!
It just seems unfair that there is not an awareness of this and now I have the fear of panic attacks with me forever, perhaps. They say once you’ve had one, a vicious cycle begins. The fact that I had to actively fight them off for months with xanax was the worse experience of my life. Now, they are less omnipresent, but, again, are being treated with xanax.  My professional life had truly suffered, although I’ve manage.  I work in  academia and being on xanax and constantly coping has truly interfered with the way I articulate myself.

Panic Attacks


What you’ve experienced sounds terrible. I, also, have been suffering from injections, but from two: Botox and Xiamen (not at the same time) .  My suffering has mostly been panic attacks, depersonalization, derealization, dry mouth and trouble swallowing. My doctors assured me that Botox doesn’t cause the first 3 symptoms, which plagued me the most. So after the Botox product wore off (this was the first time I tried Botox) I decided use Xiamen.  My doctor and I decided  to use a 1/3 of the dose that I had previously with Botox. Also, Xiamen is a different product, but includes the same botulism toxin A; My doctors said it’s less allergenic.
Big mistake!! Panic attacks came back full force and i felt high for weeks (out of body: depersonalization) !!!!  I am, now, 2 1/2 months into this and am feeling better, but still am taking xanax.  I spoke with an attorney and he said that proving these symptoms are linked to Botox is tough. Also, since I tried 2 different products means that the suit would be against two different Corps.  Turns out, the attorney didn’t take the case.  Maybe if we all ban together we can help to create an exposure of this suffering which could result in preventative ways to safeguard people considering these products.  After all, this product stays with you for up to six months! If I had known that panic attacks were a potential side effect, I would have never tried the Xiamen after the horrific experience with Botox. Ugh!
It just seems unfair that there is not an awareness of this and now I have the fear of panic attacks with me forever, perhaps. They say once you’ve had one, a vicious cycle begins. The fact that I had to actively fight them off for months with xanax was the worse experience of my life. Now, they are less omnipresent, but, again, are being treated with xanax.  My professional life had truly suffered, although I’ve manage.  I work in  academia and being on xanax and constantly coping has truly interfered with the way I articulate myself.

Five day water fast results

Twenty years ago, I researched fasting to eliminate toxins after an exposure to chemicals in my work environment made me very ill. I found that the benefits of a five day water fast  were tremendous and one of the most effective ways to cleanse and heal the body.   It definitely worked for me, so I decided to try it again to see if it might help with some food intolerances I have developed after receiving Botox injections a few years ago.

last week I drank only water for five days, the first three days as predicted were rough, because of herxheimer type reactions as your body expels the toxins, symptoms may intensify. On the fourth day my headache, bloating,  low energy, hunger pains, etc. went away and on the fifth day, I felt amazing! It seems to have helped as I reintroduced food, I was able tolerate things like dairy better than before. I have searched the Botox website to see if others have tried fasting and did not find anything.

I would be happy to share my experience with anyone who is interested. While specific sites recommend consulting with a physician, I have not had a great deal of faith in my doctor lately. After all he believes Botox is safe and he says there is no relationship between its use and the symptoms I developed.

On a positive note, I  feel TERRIFIC!!  thinking I might do it again soon! My 30 year class reunion is in a few weeks and I really want to look and feel my best, have a great day all:-)

Feel much better ! No thanks to drs!

After months and months of endless dr appointments and prescriptions and figured out a serious trigger to all my problems. I was literally poisoning myself as i was trying to make myself feel better! I have been on restoril and anxiety meds for a long time not knowing that they dont mix well with antibiotics or other medication etc…ive also been getting botox for just as long….ive also for the first time in my life have had horrible reactions to antibiotics for exactly just as Long! What happened when i took bactrim looking back seems exactly like botulism.. I took one pill and went to bed the night before a scheduled surgery and was woken up in the middle of the night with a fever , locked hands and fingers, and terrible pain. I thought i was dying i had no clue what was happening to me. Clearly a mixture of these things sets off your Central nervous system..i waited forever for that surgery and told nobody because never did it cross my mind it was an allergic reaction or anything else. I had had carpal tunnel before and just brushed it off. It took months for feelings to come back to my fingers. Since then every antibiotic had made my skin burn to the point to where i have to put ice packs on..its nerve damage. Skip to before last summer…first i tried the off brand of botox starts with an x then i got juvederm in may..had a lil lump between my brows but it looked good was told it was normal n all was good. All summer i had watery eyes, ear infections, sinus infections, and panic attacks. Still taking axiety meds now uped of course because drs believe im very stressed! Must confess sadly i start drinking beer for the first time in my life daily. Oh boy! Oct…my large forehead vein swells n hardens!! Go right to the ps! He injects it i make him give me antibiotics and i begin my very long nightmare believing juvederm has moved and caused auto immune response… Beer axiety pills steroids Botox! All winter this went on …allergy pills steroids detox beer panic steroids rashes inflammation joints muscles omg you name it…..two weeks ago while in a severe  panicked state… My nerves are fried cant eat nothing works right drinking shakes havnt gone near alcohol in forever ..tried everything to detox my body…except popping those restoril and xanex not to panic so my skin doesnt burn etc…finally read about benzo withdrawal and med interaction…. Serious neurotoxic problems…literally …so i stopped cold turkey….i felt the same i felt all winter every time i ran out of them every time i thought something else was wrong and every time drs saw rashes and hives yet my bloodwork was normal…but i just suffered and took nothing…..and its all going away….yes my nervous system is messed up ..my hands and feet get red and hot…yes i think botox is to blame but if i hadnt mixed all the things together it wouldnt have been set off is the point of all this im sorry this is such a mess…i cant remember a lot i feel like i just woke up from a nightmare! Please please check back all the things you were doing at the time you had botox..meds such as restoril affect your nervous system and brain terribly. I wonder now if i took bactrim wud i be allergic? Have i set off botox forever or can i surpress it….id say seriously try to detox and take nothing and try to give your liver brain and stomachs a rest… Once again i know im all over the place its only been two weeks…eyes r still blurry etc ugh

Week 4 …some observations and things that have helped me

Hi All . After more research I realize the main reason botox affects some of us so badly is that it enters the Cental Nervous System and switches off neurotransmitters at random. At the weekend after a massage  I suddenely developed a blinding headache with a stiff neck and shoulders. I can only presume some toxins had been released and were circulating. I felt depressed, was in terrible pain , dizzy and other symptoms. I took some really strong painkillers , did not work. I took 2 strong sleeping tabIets, absolutely nothing. I usually take a half a sleeping tablet if I cant sleep and it lasts 10 hours.  took various other meds that normally calm me down, nothing worked. Painkillers  and sleeping tabs work on gaba receptors so they had completely  shut down. Calmers work on seratonin receptors , they had  completely shut down. I beleive when the toxin is circulatiing ALL receptors including dopamine  receptors shut down and nothing can cross the blood brain barrier rendering all medications useless for a time. I also know that one becomes ultra sensitive to ANY stimulant so no coffee or nothing to speed one up. I take t3 thyroid medication which also has a stimulating effect . I have had to now drop three quarters of my dose as otherwise I get panic attacks and anxiety so if you take ANY meds with a stimulatory effect like NDT thyroid or ritalin or certain other cns drugs STOP them immediately and lower your dose until you find you  feel a dose that you feel  ok with. Doctors are NOT going to help you so you need to take responsibility and find what is right for you until you heal.  This will make a huge difference. I think it is really important to take detox herbs such as chlorella and NAC and milk thistle and as much vitamin B complex as ou can tolerate, be careful as B vits also have a stimulatory effect as well as vitamin D and Fish Oil, they can all make you anxious and jittery. Take a dose that feels right for you. Your nervous system is in meltdown so you will be sesnitive to everything . I found Seriphos is a good calmer as it lowers cortisol . Also sceleteum tortuosem which feeds your seratonin and dopamine receptors making your mood stable. I would personally stay away from stuff like Xanax which is addictive and a bit toxic. Some days meds dont work and others they work fine, it is the nature of this horrible poison that makes everything completely unpredictable . I will carry on with my research and let you all know what I have tried as I am going to try all sorts of different remedies and use this horrible journey as a tool to find things that can maybe help others .

Falling Pregnant?

Hi, I have been suffering on and off with side effects after my third time injecting Dysport to my glabellar lines. Initially my side effects were anxiety, blocked ears, ringing ears, pressure in my head, overall weakness, speech issues, memory issues, vision issues, difficulty concentrating, seeing spots, difficulty concentrating eyes… And the list goes on. It has been six months and my symptoms have definitely eased up, I am not really that anxious anymore and the weakness is better, however I still struggle with vision issues, blocked ears, difficulty concentrating and crazy  head pressure. I just started on the contraceptive pill and the head pressure is worse than ever – anyone had this problem? My chiro has helped me a lot and put me onto a range of supplements supposed to help with nerve issues. I have also just finished up a six week detox with a naturopath that I think helped. However my main question is… My husband and I want to have a baby, and I would like to start trying within a couple of months – do you think I am safe to have a baby? Will any of my issues affect a baby in the womb? I’d like to get some help here are my naturopath, doctor and chiro all believe I am safe.

Feeling way better and got jaw and chin surgery!

Hello everyone, it’s been a long time since I haven’t posted here even though I still regularly check this website. From what I remember the last time I’ve posted a topic here was about 1 year ago and I was talking about trying b12 vitamin as I had read that it regenerates the nerves and that botox causes mostly neurological damages. Well I’m sorry I didn’t get to reply to your comments but I got very sick… Even that I couldn’t tolerate it. I’ve been able to tolerate 1 pill of b12 vitamin a day, but when I’ve tried taking 2 I’ve almost had a seizure and felt so bad for several days I thought I would end up at the ER…

To summarize my story I’ve received 50 units of botox for a chemical brow lift when I was 25. I’m now 28 and I have recovered a lot this last year. These last few months I truly felt normal and I would take public transport everyday and spend my days out! I don’t know if some of you remember it but I’ve got braces about 1 year post injection. I am now about 34 months post injections and I’ve just undergone plastic surgery! I know there are very little information about botox poisoned people undergoing surgery so I’ll try to be as detailed as possible. The surgeries I’ve had are a mandible reduction and a sliding genioplasty. I’ve also had to undergo a bone graft (from cadavers). If you want more information about this surgery it’s called the “V Line” and it’s very popular in South Korea. What they’ve done to me is cut my jaw angles (mandibles), they’ve cut my chin to advance it and screw it to titanium plates and they’ve grafted some human bones somewhere in my chin. The whole surgery was done under general anaesthesia and lasted about 2 hours. I’ve been as careful as possible warning my surgeon and anesthesiologist that I suffered from a multitude of medication intolerance and that I wanted to be given as little drug as possible. When I woke up from the surgery I was in pain so they’ve injected me some stronger pain killers. As soon as the pain killer entered my body I’ve immediately felt extremely strong hot flash to the point that I’ve tried to tear my clothes away and I’ve started vomiting blood very violently. Fortunately they have immediately stopped giving me this pain killer and my vomiting stopped as they did so. But strangely enough vomiting made me feel relieved, all of a sudden I’ve felt like a pleasant cold all over my body and it’s even relieved the pain from my operated jaw. The medical staff said it was strange that my pain almost disappeared all of a sudden but that like I felt better they could take me back to my clinic room. Then I’ve slept a lot… The medical staff kept on applying ice packs on my face and refill my iv drip every few hours. I was recovering from my surgery very well, only the second night they’ve put hydroxyzine (a sort of sedative) in my iv drip without telling me and this sent me back to hell!! As soon as they gave me that I’ve started seeing blurry, being mentally unwell and when I woke up the following day I was very sick… My nerves jumped all over my body, I was feeling stuff moving in my head, I became hypersensitive to sounds and I had a terrible brain frog… However the good new is that these symptoms have only lasted 48 hours and I’m now completely normal. I’ve spent about 4 days in clinic because of face edema (it’s normal for the face to swell after such a surgery)  and because I still had jaw x-ray to get. I am now at home resting with a still bandaged jaw and my ice packs. I do not take any pain killer anymore, only antibiotic. Anyway, I do not regret to have undergone this plastic surgery because it was a surgery that I had been wanting since a long time and that botox has ruined my life enough. When I’ve consulted my surgeon and that he told me that this surgery had way higher advantages if you get it while you’re still wearing braces I’ve decided to take the chance. Botox had ruined enough things in my life and I decided that I wouldn’t let it ruin this surgery that I had wanted for a long time. As a result I am still alive doing pretty well, gradually recovering and I sincerely hope from the bottom of my heart that my message will bring at least a tiny hope to everyone of you. 

anyone thought about spores in the drug?

Hi guys,

When I was having USG of my  belly organs,I had  echogenic fluid in the small intestine – which apparently is when there is some bacteria so I had many tests for many bacterias -which came back negative, the only one I did not manage to test was C.botulimum cos labs said they wont test for it (of course) and I focused only on my blood to be tested, wish I have sent my faeces with my blood! Doctor  who did USG  said to me that there is a possibility that drug could even still contain some spores. It happens with vaccines too – he said.

In the warnings it says that people with scars, acnes, after plastic operation, should not have it done.. i guess its because the places like this are anaerobic, lack of blood circulation, just like the junkie people have- what makes them perfect for spores to grow.   Spores use iron to grow, maybe this is why people with botulizm get anemic?? Microbiologist told me it takes about 2,3 months for  spores to grow, this is the time when I start geting worse, I had terrible diarrhea (wich is more in foodborn botulism) and my Iron level droped dramaticaly. I was really bad for fiew months , then my iron gone  higher than max level just like that in one month and I felt better, I looked so much better  and then dropped again under minimum and again I relapsed.  Also again full of nasty acnes, swellings, all over again.

I found it interesting because I damn cant understand why the hell we get relapses if this poison should metabolize.  Microbiologist said that the drug would need to be tested for spores. Did any of u test your faeces for it?


What do u think about this? Also did anyone think about stem cells therapy? I was reading that this is good for many health conditions , even like SLA, MS, also by plastic surgeons, it can heal organs, nervous system, skin, depended on the damage. I know its damn expensive but I seriously think about it..